It seems scarcely believable to me that one day I would live in Sydney, but the longer I've been here the more I feel I am right where I belong. Today is 10 years since I arrived here on a permanent basis, and though it is 16 and a half years since I first set foot in Australia this milestone seems to mean something more to me.
Jess and I on Fraser Island, 2013
When I look back on the last 10 years at what I have achieved, what Jess and I have achieved and some of the things we have done and places we have been I am very proud and feel very fortunate. I do feel like a completely different person and I can't help but wonder what my life would have been like had I been born and raised here. I definitely feel like I'm a better and more positive person than before I moved here.
Make no mistake, I am very proud to be from Devon, very proud to be British and though I will never ever be a native to these shores I take great pride in my Australian Citizenship. There is something strange about the fact I can now legitimately say that I am an Australian though there is always the urge to add the word "Citizen" to it.
Rosie the American Alligator
So what has happened over the last decade? To summarise, I arrived in 2013 and immediately began looking for work. I ended up working for a small packaging company as a Sales Rep and at the end of 2014 they were bought out by a bigger company, where I worked until 2016. I did not enjoy that job, though I made some friends and would attend the Bathurst 1000 with them each year I don't think anyone could begrudge me saying that I had absolutely no passion for selling cardboard boxes or timber pallets. Through that time I was also working at the Australian Reptile Park and getting hands on with a range of animals, so with that and cricket it wasn't like I wasn't doing things I enjoyed. But leaving the packaging industry is something I should have done sooner. Isn't hindsight wonderful?
Our wedding, 2015
In 2015, Jess and I got married. Our wedding was spectacularly special with a backdrop of Sydney Harbour, we could not have asked for more than to share with family and friends from across the globe. We got that. In late 2016 and early 2017 we bought our first home, and gaining that independence has been an important step in building our lives together. I was working at a cricket store by this time and enjoying myself professionally again, which was important.
In September 2017 on the one day I chose not to drive to work, I got a lift with my mate (and boss) and we were struck from behind while sitting stationary at traffic lights. The next 12-18 months was physically a challenge, coupled with getting older and putting on some weight I was told by an orthapaedic surgeon that I needed to seriously consider how long I should continue playing cricket if I wanted to be physically able into the future.
Hitting a 6 in my last innings for MUCC, 2019
For someone who had put a high importance on playing cricket since the age of 12 that was tough to hear, but given the rapid decline of facilities, talent and performances at Macquarie University Cricket Club I was beginning to feel that taking some time away from the game may be prudent. I had been fortunate enough on occasions to be a net bowler at the SCG for Australia on a number of occasions, West Indies and England. I'm sure I mentioned knocking David Warner's off stump out, but if I haven't I'll gladly explain it! I owe cricket a lot, and it owes me nothing.
1st Grade MVP 2018
Having achieved some personal milestones at MUCC (a 1st Grade hundred, captained 1st Grade and 2nd Grade, 2nd and 3rd Grade hundreds, a Captain Of The Year award from Sydney Shires Cricket, Leading Run Scorer in 2nd Grade Shires Competition 2016/17 despite only playing 7 games, 2nd Grade and 1st Grade MVP Awards) I played my last game in 2019 thinking I'd have a year or two away, but in that first season off I didn't miss it. And at the end of the 2019/2020 season the club collapsed due to the University's bureaucracy and was no longer able to enter teams in the Shires competition, though they still exist in park cricket. I don't pretend to have been a particularly good player, but I am proud of those personal achievements but mostly I am disappointed to have not won a team trophy, namely a Premiership. I only list those achievements because to this day my self-doubt of my cricket ability takes over, and I need to reassure myself that the years playing the game were somehow worth it.
I suppose the biggest professional event for me came in 2019 when I applied for and finally got back into the aviation industry and began flying again. The last entry in my logbook from the UK was in May 2008, and the next entry was May 2019. An 11 year gap from my biggest passion is something that should never have happened. Working in aviation and achieving a pilots licence (featured on my YouTube channel) is something I am supremely proud of as I had almost given up on it ever being a possibility. Now I have an RPL, am working on a PPL and have not discounted the possibility of a CPL in future.
Jess and I, Top Of The Rock, New York City, 2019
We have visited some wonderful places that I doubt I would have been able to do had my life stayed in the UK; as well as travelling around Australia (Hervey Bay, Brisbane, Noosa, Gold Coast, Melbourne, Port Macquarie, Hobart and Tasmania, Adelaide, Canberra, Echuca and more) we have spent a month in the USA (Dallas, Washington DC, New York, Las Vegas, San Francisco, Neverland, Los Angeles and Disneyland) which was outstanding. I went to the F1 in China with my Best Man. Jess and I have made two trips to the UK (2016 and 2022) and later this year we have a trip to Hawaii to look forward to. I seriously doubt that I would have made anywhere near this many trips to various locations had I stayed in Devon.
None of this is to say I don't love Devon, I do. I wouldn't want to live anywhere else in the UK, all I am saying is that Australia has offered so much opportunity to me, to us. The mentality of Australians is to be happy for others to succeed and help them to do so. I found that while a lot of people in the UK share that same mentality, purely from the sheer number of people in the UK competition for jobs is more intense and any mistakes are pounced on by those wishing to advance themselves. Nothing necessarily wrong with that, but I have found it much easier to succeed and be happy in Australia.
Surprise visit to Devon 2022! The moment my parents met Josie (without knowing we were in the UK)was captured on video HERE
These days I am professionally content. From the moment I first came to Australia I held a thought that one day it would be great to work for Qantas. Never thought it would happen, I was only in Australia for a cricket season. Yet as of 2022 I work for Australia's biggest airline, one of the world's biggest airlines and though they seem to be a target for tabloid media I take great pride in having the Qantas logo on my uniform. I still dream that one day I'll fly for Qantas as a pilot, but financially that's going to take a long long time and a lot more hard work. Never say never!
My first passenger as a licenced pilot! 2022
I'm never doing nothing, and though since COVID I haven't worked at the Australian Reptile Park, I am doing other projects. I have my YouTube channel for my own flying, my own photography, I produce the audio and occasionally co-present a podcast (The MJCast) and also occasionally appear with my friend Kurt on the SYDSquad livestreams from Sydney Airport.
Kurt and I streaming from the Control Tower at Sydney Airport, 2023
One thing I never want to do is have anyone feel that I am ungrateful for anything. I've made so many great friends over the last 10 years, and though there are hundreds I should list I want to give special thanks to:
My Best Man Paul Clift for your support, friendship and continued laughs.
Glen, Kim and Jamison McFadden for being as close to family as I can get since 2006.
Ranger Mick Tate for entertaining us for years at the ARP, for the great laughs and the even more entertaining references! For looking after all of my friends and family that have visited from all over the globe.
Dan Foster for continuing to bring laughs and being a wonderful friend. It was a pleasure to have also had the opportunity to work with you and to support each other through triumph and tragedy.
My flight instructor Luke Tevaga for getting me through to a Pilots Licence and continuing to take me through the next stages.
Simon and Laura Dodwell for your continued friendship (Simon I have known since 2006 in our native Devon).
Kurt Ams and the entire SYDSquad crew for inviting me on to share our passion for aviation and planespotting at Sydney Airport.
My MJCast colleagues Jamon Bull, Elise Capron and Charlie Thomson for bringing me onto the team and giving me a huge insight into the world of Michael Jackson and the Jackson family.
By far and away though, the biggest pride I have is my family. I love them all, regardless of distance. I love my in-laws, my nieces and nephew, and I am so proud of my wife and daughter. I won't lie, I'd almost reached the point of wondering if we would ever have our own child(ren) and when Josie came along in 2021 I was overwhelmed with emotions and the knowledge that I had kept a promise to my late grandparents, especially my Grandad who wanted nothing more than the Carter name to continue. Whether you believe they are watching down on us or not, the promise has been kept and Josie is such a beautiful gift to us. We hope to give her a brother or sister in future.
Can't wait to travel on more adventures with these two!
Just about a week ago I thought to myself how these blogs were once a regular part of my existence; Putting it all out there, sharing my experiences or thoughts via a social media outlet, revelling in the number of people who would say they enjoyed what I had to say or catching up with what is happening in my life. Then I reached a point of writing these articles, and then not publishing them. Coming up with an idea, or a topic, but deciding to keep it private. Well, there is an element of that to this post too, only this time I want it to appear in my memories and I want to share with others. It is as much a diary entry as it is a letter to my future self.
Of all the positives and negatives about socials, the memories function of Facebook is wonderful in that it allows you to look back at things you did, people you hung out with, trips you made or even games you played. It also allows you to realise how much you have grown and continue to grow as a person by highlighting what absolute crap you used to post, and by "you" I mean "me". Obviously with age we mature, and thus I usually go through my memories each day and delete the meaningless sports statuses or attempted sharing of humour. Why? Because it just isn't relevant, or even funny. And it took some time to see it.
So I won't lie, posting regularly to social media used to be a terrible habit. Reacting to stories, commenting with attempts to correct or even joke with people ultimately achieved nothing. I have to credit my wife and other family members as they post nowhere near as often as I did/do and their content is always good. Quality, not quantity. I'm still working on posting less, but still sharing what I feel I need to. It is a tough balance to strike, but sometimes it is hindsight that allows it.
I write this from a cabin in Cessnock where I am currently holed up for work, New South Wales is in lockdown in the midst of a major surge of the COVID19 Delta variant pandemic. I have had one dose of my vaccination. My pregnant wife is at home, and has just started her maternity leave. And that is the reason for this entry.
Evenings are currently spent dreaming of the future, dreaming of playing with my incoming son/daughter (not everyone knows yet, although we have been told), and dreaming of what it is really like to be a Father. I'm in a job where I spend a lot of time in an aircraft, a lot of time looking out over our wonderful landscape, in my zen, music playing through my head but not my headset, getting lost in the spirituality of how small and insignificant we really are. And how soon we will have made an addition to the population of this beautiful world.
Children have a magic ability to show you what it is really all about. I love spending time with my nieces and nephew, and I think they enjoy spending time with me and that's probably because it doesn't happen all the time. With our son/daughter, that will be an every day challenge with all the magic moments combined with the sleepless nights, the nappy changes, the crying and screaming, the need for constant care. It all combines to define what motherhood/fatherhood really is. We know it's coming, and we know what to expect but we also know that there will be many things to take us by surprise and stretch us to our limits. That is why I am writing this now; to be able to read this in a year, two years, ten years time and say "Oh, you have no idea!" or "Yeah, you got it right."
Anyway, to have the responsibility to care for, raise, shape this person's life, is not one we take lightly. The magic and the madness that is about to come is all part of the story. How that story unfolds is all part of the magic, and whether there are any brothers and sisters in future as well. All I can really say is that I don't know if I'm ready for what's about to come, but I've never been more ready in all my life. We can't wait to meet you, little one.
This is very much a personal opinion piece. The opinions of other members of Macquarie University Cricket Club may vary.
Compared to others, I have not been involved at Macquarie University Cricket Club that long; a mere 14 years have passed since I arrived on Australian shores in September 2006 eager to impress and improve my game. I had come from playing cricket on beautiful grounds in the South West English countryside, where teas were served and we had followers that would watch us week in, week out, and a bar at the club for socialising. My first impression of MUCC was a midweek evening training session at the world famous Sydney Cricket Ground, I could hardly believe where I was! No disrespect at all is meant by this, but it was a far cry from playing at a ground like Barton in Torquay (not the worst but not my favourite) to being at the SCG. And the club colours of Green and Gold matched my beloved Bovey Tracey CC; it's almost as if I was meant to be there, a home from home.
And then there were the club grounds; The Main Oval at the University Playing Fields is a theatre, enclosed on three sides by magnificent grass banks, topped on one side by a large pavilion and an almost never ending staircase onto the oval. This was a spectacular sight, and I couldn't wait to just play. The club was booming, or so it seemed. We had a large group of players, a large core of members who loved the club, loved the facilities and most of all loved winning regularly, and had the skill to back it up. The club was almost ubiquitously achieving finals or Premierships in at least one of the grades most seasons, be it a Shires, Masters, or 5th and 6th Grade level.
When I returned for another season in 2009/2010 the landscape was a little different. That magnificent theatrical cauldron of amateur cricket that was the Main Oval was no longer available for cricket. Aside from Sydney FC using the Main Oval, the University had said it cost too much to maintain for cricket, but it was perfectly fine for... ahem... "Quidditch". Yes, a fictional sport inspired by the Harry Potter books. Granted, the equipment needed for Quidditch is minimal in terms of maintenance, and there seemed to be an upturn in the number of people playing it. Now if you're reading this and you play Quidditch, I'm not insulting your sport or suggesting for a second it is less important, far from it. I am merely using the relative history of the sport compared to cricket to illustrate a point; that Macquarie University, or at least individuals who made decisions at Macquarie University, gave up caring about cricket many years ago.
We still had enough pull and enough of a player base to be relatively successful, indeed that year 4th Grade won the Premiership and I was lucky enough to Captain an Under 24's side full of precocious talent that was our best chance of winning a Premiership that had eluded the club since forming in 1968. We made it to the Grand Final. We lost to Strathfield. It both saddens and disgusts me to say that no side in future will have the chance to better that, that a mediocre captain and average player such as I will be the most successful Under 24's Captain in the Club's history, and we didn't win anything.
From 2013 I was permanently here in Australia and a full member of MUCC, including committee duties. It was around this time that I became aware of just how difficult the University were to deal with. I mean, it costs far too much to maintain a couple of cricket fields but (strongly laced with sarcasm) spending millions of dollars on a corporate brand change is fine, right? It makes complete sense to go from a brand that had been part of your identity since the 1960's of Green and Gold with a logo of the Macquarie lighthouse, to Red, Burgundy, Grey with a Lotus Leaf logo in 2011, doesn't it? Oh, and just three years later in 2014 to spend millions on another change to Red and Black and bringing back the lighthouse?! But cricket fields cost too much to maintain.
And slowly, year on year, the facilities were either removed, denied or not maintained. The training pitches were a disgrace for years, it surprises me there weren't more injuries. The "changing rooms" were demountable sheds that the club had to fund on top of the exorbitant and extortionate fees the University charged for using them, even with a supposed 80% discount. To be clear, with that "80% discount" the fees were still three or four times more than other clubs paid for their COUNCIL MAINTAINED grounds. There is a direct correlation between Macquarie University's removal of facilities from the cricket club and the decline in quantity and quality of the cricketers prepared to play for the club.
I think the disdain in my writing is showing through, the resentment that I and countless other members have that our club which had success and the potential to achieve more has been reduced to what it is today. We find difficult to accept. Whilst Macquarie University make a relatively understandable business case for why it costs them to keep cricket going, there is even more evidence to suggest that with just a little investment from the University they could have THE best facilities for cricket in Sydney, not just Shires cricket but Grade/Premier Cricket too. That, in turn, would mean they could be the best in Australia. That's not me putting on rose-tinted glasses, that is the reality that Sydney club cricket is amongst the strongest club cricket competitions in the world.
The Main Oval is wasted on Quidditch. It's a decent field for football and rugby (league and union) but there are dedicated football fields around the complex for that already. Lacrosse...? Maybe. AFL? Of course, during winter most cricket ovals are turned into AFL ovals, it is to be expected. An Oval with the potential to be that majestic deserves to have cricket played on it. Cricket is part of Australia's sporting identity. The role of Australian Cricket Captain is commonly accepted to be second in importance only to the Prime Minister. It is absolutely abhorrent that a University that shares its name with a Governor that is largely credited with shaping the society of Australia into what it is today refuses to acknowledge or offer any meaningful support to a sport that very society is based on.
I'll reiterate, I have nothing against any of the other sports at all. I actively encourage people to take up as many sports as possible. The two other main Universities in Sydney both have good cricketing facilities. Granted, they play in the Premier competition, however as mentioned before with a little investment Macquarie Uni's facilities could be the best in Sydney and that in turn attracts better players. That then increases the level of cricket being played, and given that MUCC had previously entered teams into the Grade competition a few decades ago (for six seasons) another foray into Grade/Premier could have eventually been on the cards. I had heard rumours of an interest from Sydney Thunder to use the Main Oval to host WBBL games. Given the increase in popularity of Women's Cricket in general, the chance to be on the world stage, what's to say World Cup games couldn't have been hosted in future? It's a complete lack of any kind of foresight on the part of the Uni to just put cricket in the "Too Hard" basket.
That is what is most galling and frustrating for the members of a once great club, past and present. We see the potential for the future, because we know the history of the club. And the frustration is slowly turning to a sadness and mourning, that a 52 year old club has been fighting an ever-growing cancer in dealing with certain individuals who make decisions. We did our best to treat it. We did our best to save Shires Cricket at our beloved club, and now because of them our club has slipped into the palliative care of so-called "Park Cricket", because Macquarie University themselves are pulling the plug on the life-support. They will eventually allow building another artificial football field for Sydney FC on the Northern Oval (one isn't enough, plus the other Ovals they already use), having already removed the cricket facilities on the Main Oval a decade before. How long before the last remaining cricket-worthy oval, the Gwilliam Oval named after our legendary President from 1969-1979 Ross Gwilliam, is also lost to "development"? Although I never met the man, I have a feeling he would be turning in his grave knowing that the hard work he put into growing MUCC into what it was when he handed over has been curtailed in this way.
We celebrate the past successes. On a personal note, if it was not for MUCC I would not have the life I have today. I even wrote a couple of years ago about it HERE. I will always be grateful to those who enabled me to come over and play for such a wonderful club. I have always been loyal to my clubs; my hometown club Bovey Tracey CC in Devon, and MUCC. I always said as long as MUCC exists I would not play for another Shires club, despite many friends at many clubs asking. Now it seems if I ever want to play Shires Cricket again I may not have a choice, and that is something that cuts me and my club-mates incredibly deep.
Our USA Honeymoon was a simply amazing journey, with many memorable locations along the way.
In October of 2019 my wife and I embarked on a month-long adventure to the United States of America, our delayed honeymoon after 4 and a half years of marriage. We packed so much into that month it hardly seems believable, and what will follow on this blog entry are just things that relate to a man I have been a fan of since my early childhood; Michael Jackson. You may not believe this given the number of MJ items I'm about to write about, but the vast majority of our activities in the USA had absolutely nothing to do with Michael Jackson. Given what will follow, hopefully that illustrates just how much we did! We visited (in order) Dallas, Washington DC, New York, Las Vegas, San Francisco, Solvang and Neverland Ranch, Los Angeles and Disneyland. We didn't do anything related to MJ in Dallas, so I'll head straight into Washington DC and the surrounding areas.
Also, around the middle of 2018 I had become aware of a Michael Jackson related podcast, The MJCast, and have listened to their many episodes including interviews with many people who were friends with, worked for, defended, are related to or have written extensively about Michael Jackson and through listening to that podcast I have learnt things about the man, his music and his movements that I never knew before and therefore had some bearing on some of the places we visited. Hope you enjoy reading this!
Goodstone Inn, Middleburg, VA
On this particular day, we visited Arlington Cemetery first to visit JFK's grave and then headed out on the 30 mins drive to the Smithsonian Museum at Dulles Airport. The primary reason, another passion of mine; Concorde. After a few hours ogling various aircraft, Space Shuttle Discovery and other items we then ventured a further 45 minutes to the Goodstone Inn in the beautiful Virginia countryside town of Middleburg. What does this have to do with Michael Jackson? Well, he stayed there in 2007 with his kids and by all accounts enjoyed his time there.
One of my favourite books is called "Remember The Time: Protecting Michael Jackson In His Final Days" and is written by two bodyguards who worked for him between 2006 and his death in 2009. They gave a real insight into a man who pined for normality, wished to be able to just go to the store or to a bar and order a beer, but ultimately was imprisoned by his fame. They wrote about times he would ask to be driven around Washington DC and just people-watch, about a time they were stopped in front of the White House by law enforcement who had become suspicious of an SUV with tinted windows and California plates circling the White House, registered to "Neverland Ranch, 5225 Figueroa Mountain Road, Los Olivos, CA". When they confirmed it was Michael Jackson in the car, they asked for autographs and exclaimed "Wow, we just met Michael Jackson! That was better than meeting the President!"
A part of this book described the Goodstone Inn, and given we were so close I thought it would be nice to just go for dinner, not mention Michael Jackson and just claim to be random Australians (yes, I know I'm English but the whole time in the US when asked where we were from it was just easier to say "Australia".) who wanted a nice dinner in the country. The restaurant itself was pretty small and quaint, and the service was high quality. The food was not cheap, but not obnoxiously overpriced either and the New York Strip steak was cooked to perfection.
The server was a young man who had obviously received some training and was excellently presented with a dry sense of humour. I also noticed that every time we said "Thank you" he responded with "Of course", as opposed to "You're welcome." There were only one or two other tables with guests as we were quite early in the evening, and so it was quiet and peaceful although we could hear the conversations of the other tables quite clearly, trying to suppress laughter at the upper-class toffery and over-inflated ego sounds of entitled rich people on the other tables. It reminded me of why I can't stand listening to Gilmore Girls when my wife is watching it. (Sorry, Jess!)
After our meal we divulged that we had heard that Michael Jackson had stayed here, ultimately the reason we didn't say anything to begin with is because we wanted the real experience, not the "Oh God, it's fans of a celebrity" service. As we drove slowly out of the property and looked over the rolling hills of the Virginia countryside I could understand, as a country boy at heart, what was so attractive about this place. And the address? "Snake Hill Road". How appropriate for a reptile lover like myself. My only regret is that I took no photos or video at the Goodstone Inn. Maybe one day we will stay there ourselves.
Hoyt-Schermerhorn Subway Station, Brooklyn, NY
Bad, and Crocodile Dundee. I could imagine
the dancers and Michael at Hoyt-Schermerhorn
After driving from Washington DC to New York and dropping our hire car in Midtown Manhattan, we walked with our bags two blocks to our hotel by Grand Central Station, and figured out our plan for the week. In 1986, Martin Scorsese was enlisted to direct the music video, or "Short Film" as Michael Jackson preferred to call it, for the song "Bad" to be released the following year. With many nods to West Side Story, the filming for the music section of the film took place in a subway station in Brooklyn; Hoyt-Schermerhorn. As a side note, the station was also used for scenes in the hit movie Crocodile Dundee, so it seemed appropriate to visit from Australia for that reason as much as Michael Jackson. There have been changes to the station as you would expect after 33 years, but there were definitely recognisable aspects; the ticket barriers the dancers jumped over, the stairs they ran up and the corridors they backflipped and danced in.
We did not stay too long as unless you knew that is where the filming occured, you wouldn't have had any clue. There are no murals in the station, no signage to say that filming took place there. That's not to say there should be, but although I'm pleased we went and would have regretted not going, I don't think that we'd head back to the station again unless we had a compelling reason to. It also helped that it was accessible with only one change of train from where we were staying.
New York / New Jersey
We didn't really visit other places as such, but we saw things like Radio City Music Hall and Madison Square Garden, where he and the Jackson 5 had performed. We also saw Jersey Towers across the Hudson but didn't pay particular attention to them. For those raising an eyebrow, that is where Evan Chandler (who accused Jackson in 1993 of molesting his 13 year old son) lived in 2009 and where his body was found in November 2009 with a single gunshot wound, just a few months after Jackson had died himself. I am not saying the two deaths are related, others have made the assumption that Chandler's suicide was down to guilt about his role in Jackson's downfall, but concrete proof is something that many Jackson fans want in his defense. It seems a little hypocritical to make an assumption without facts just because it supports a different narrative.
Las Vegas, Nevada: Houses, Shops and A Mind-Blowing Show
While in the US, with the exception of New York, we had a car for the entirety of our stay, and this allowed us to explore further and see more than if we had relied on public transport. This meant that while in Vegas, after venturing out to the Grand Canyon and Hoover Dam we could drive up and down the strip and to various areas. I mentioned a book earlier written by two bodyguards, their names are Bill Whitfield and Javon Beard and they are residents of Vegas. One house in particular was where their story of meeting and working for Michael Jackson began.
Michael Jackson's Monte Cristo house in Las Vegas, where
Bill Whitfield and Javon Beard first began working for him
After various financial and legal issues, MJ moved around a bit and when he came back to the USA in late 2006 he settled in Las Vegas. We visited both houses he lived in, he preferred one over the other for a variety of reasons. After years of associating Michael Jackson with wealth, with Neverland Ranch and a sprawling 2,700 acre property, it was a little different to imagine him living in those houses, in so-called "normal" neighbourhoods, in a normal (but bloody nice by most people's standards) house surrounded by other houses and dog-walkers. But there it was... Michael Jackson in a normal house surrounded by "normal" people. Somewhat ironically, that seemed to imprison him more as there was no real escape from eyes on all sides.
In the farcical Martin Bashir documentary "Living With Michael Jackson" there was a section in Las Vegas where Michael goes shopping at the Venetian. I couldn't resist going; the architecture was truly stunning, the artwork beautiful and the prices astronomical. There was a section of that documentary where Michael easily dropped a quarter of a million dollars on various vases, urns and furniture, proudly announcing "I bought these, and these... those are mine... these... That's the sold sign, means its for me. Did we get those? I like those, why don't we order those." and looking at paintings with a "Yoo-hoo! I want that one! And this one. That's the bathing of Apollo, right?"
In 2019 the press would have had you believe that no-one cares about Michael Jackson anymore and the only people who still like him are crazed fans, and that all fans are crazed. Well, that wasn't my experience. This shop had a video in the window of that very shopping spree, with a caption "We Miss You, Michael." We also went to see Cirque Du Soleil: Michael Jackson ONE at the Mandalay Bay, and let me tell you the place was packed. The merchandise store was rammed with people spending plenty on Michael Jackson memorabilia and merchandise. "Sorry Dan Reed, silence who...?" I remarked in one short video clip I made. Incidentally, the performance of Billie Jean was the most incredible live performance I have ever witnessed in person.
Neverland Ranch
For me, this part of the trip was possibly both the most inspiring and the most sad. From Vegas we
had a flight with United Airlines from San Francisco, a terrible experience from a customer relations and professionalism point of view but that's another story. Again there was nothing MJ related that we visited in San Francisco, but this part of the trip was the bit I had been waiting for as we were driving to Solvang, a beautiful Danish style town near Neverland Ranch. On the drive from San Francisco we went the coastal route through Big Sur stopping at Bixby Bridge and a couple of other lookouts along the way. Due to traffic, it took us a lot longer than anticipated to get through and there was an MJ related stop I wanted to make before we got there; the Santa Maria courthouse where he was exonerated in a 2005 trial which should never have happened.
It was getting very late in the day and daylight was fading, I was stressing a little because I wanted to go to the Neverland gates regardless but knew the following day had some time constraints and we didn't want to be fighting with Los Angeles traffic. But I also wanted to go to the courthouse, I wanted to walk that same path Michael had walked in 2005. I'd seen the footage hundreds of times of that moment, of how packed the area was with press vans and tents, with fences to keep the crowds out, with the crowds several rows deep of both fans and protesters with the fans obviously the more vocal. At first when we arrived across the street, it didn't seem like we were in the right place. Everything seemed so compact, not a lot of room for anything even with no press, no crowds, no vehicles in the car park. A 20ft container on the footpath by the court made that area even smaller.
Santa Maria Courthouse, the path Michael Jackson had to walk
every day during his farcical trial in 2005, and where finally he
walked as a free man, exonerated, vindicated and acquitted on
13th June 2005, much to the chagrin of the hoards media.
Of course, I didn't go inside the building as it was way after business hours. I am curious as to what it looked like inside that particular courtroom but I wasn't that desperate to get inside. I did my filming as discreetly as I could and then walked the walk, imagining how enclosed he would have felt in area with all the other things that would have been around. All the cameras, all the people, all the judgement from the world media that had descended on this location with the attention all focussed on him. It's a minor miracle he made it through the trial in terms of mental strength, I felt like I was being watched and I was on my own! Jess stayed in the car across the street, and a couple of police cars came into the car park but they paid no attention to me even though I was filming.
Arriving at Neverland in the dark and resolving to come back
the next day in daylight, even though you cannot see the property.
The filming was a little rushed as I wanted to get to the gates of Neverland even though I knew light was fading and the chances are it would be dark. It was a little tense in the car because at that stage I thought that we would not get a chance the following morning to come back and see it in daylight. I didn't talk much, nervously watching the sunlight disappear as the Santa Ynez Valley came into view in the distance. Ultimately it was dark when we arrived at the gates. Many people ask why I wanted to go to the gates knowing I couldn't go inside the property or even see anything of note from the gates. Well, I wanted to just be there, and read all the tributes that fans had left on the wall. There are hundreds of messages of love and support and tribute, none of negativity. I recorded a little video stating that even if that was my only visit, I had achieved a lifelong ambition of going to Neverland Ranch.
Having said that, I wanted to see the place in daylight so after a lovely meal in Solvang at a pub across the road from our wonderful accommodation at Svendsgaards Lodge, we settled in for the night and set an early alarm and headed to Neverland again in the morning. I had forgotten to buy a sharpie to write something on the wall myself, so I had to make do with writing a note on a piece of paper and leaving it in the cracks of the wall by the front gate. When we arrived there was some activity, groundskeepers coming in and out, and a security man in the hut just inside the property. I had asked him if it was ok to write something and he said "Of course! I can't let you inside, though, is the only thing." I told him we had not expected to be allowed inside so that was not a problem. I wrote a letter and left it in the wall knowing full well that it would be gone in a short time period, and berated myself for not bringing something a little more permanent to write on the wall with. Sure enough, a photo of the gates taken shortly after our visit showed that my letter was no longer beneath the cracks in the wall. Should we ever be fortunate enough to be in the area again I will make sure I have a marker pen!
Finally made it to the gates of Neverland Ranch
After 30 mins or so of writing, filming, swatting flies away and just enjoying the peace and tranquility that surrounded the area of Neverland Ranch we finally left and headed for Los Angeles. But along the way I was getting less and less satisfied at that being the end of the Neverland experience for us, so as we approached Santa Barbara we made a detour to the airport. Now, this also happens to be the same airport where Michael Jackson surrendered to the police for his arrest in November 2003, before posting bail and heading back to Las Vegas where he was filming a music video for the ironically titled "One More Chance". I don't believe the timing of this arrest to be coincidental. But I digress...
Neverland Ranch is so vast, I couldn't get
the whole 2,700 acres in frame.
At Santa Barbara Airport, I found a flying school called "Above All Aviation" and asked if they had an aircraft and instructor free for about an hour. I was fortunate, a young man named Bryce was available to take me in a Cessna 172 (N4637G). "So where are we going?" he enquired. "Neverland Ranch." My wife has not previously enjoyed flying in light aircraft, so although she had been fine on the two helicopter flights we had done in New York and the Grand Canyon she elected not to join us for the flight to Neverland.
Neverland used to have a Fairground and rides at
this location, the rides have gone but the movie
theatre remains and the go-kart track.
For those not aware, I have grown up around aircraft. I have undertaken flight training, including solo flights as well. I never finished off my pilots licence and I am currently in the process of getting it done after too many years of procrastination. Bryce handled the radios as he was familiar with the area, I handled the aircraft from taxi to parking with a brief period where Bryce took over while I took photos. It was a beautifully smooth clear day in Southern California. We headed West along the coast as far as the Gaviota VOR, then tracked North towards Los Olivos and on to Neverland.
Neverland Train Station, inspired by
the main station at Disneyland
As the property came into view, I spotted the front gates we had earlier been parked at, the famous train station, the lakes, and on into the distance the area where the fairground had once been. I was excited to finally see the glorious property and was astounded by its size, but I was also sad that what was and should still have been a hive of activity was effectively an empty shell that was maintained by owners wishing to sell on to someone who will not use it for anything to do with Michael Jackson.
Whilst the rights to the Michael Jackson name lie with his Estate, I cannot help but feel that whether they used Michael Jackson's name or not, with a careful business plan Neverland Ranch could generate a good income and be profitable as a multi-use facility; A luxury retreat with a zoo, fairground rides, a train ride, and acres of tranquility and beauty to enjoy. You could set up activities all over the ranch and make it a viable business without using Michael Jackson's name or even the name Neverland, indeed it now goes by the name "Sycamore Valley Ranch", which was what it was known as before Jackson renamed it as a tribute to Peter Pan. That, in turn, would boost the local economies in places such as Los Olivos and Solvang without leaving them overrun with tourists.
Doing a flight over Neverland was simply stunning, although I have to say I messed up the landing. I had hoped to be able to record the experience of the flight, and recently uploaded the video to YouTube which you can see above. After leaving Santa Barbara we headed down the 101 towards Los Angeles, at the last minute spotted a route through to Malibu at Las Virgenes Road at Calabasas. Just three months later this was the site of a horrendous helicopter crash that took the lives of basketball legend Kobe Bryant, his daughter Gianna and seven other people. Kobe Bryant was one of the people who spoke at Michael Jackson's memorial, and had nothing but good things to say about him.
Los Angeles, California
Outside TCL Chinese Theatre is Michael's star.
I suppose Los Angeles would have the most MJ related locations of all the places we visited, however the list of places we missed out on in LA would be longer than the places we went to. For example, we stayed in Hollywood for the first part of our LA stay and Gardner Street Elementary School with its Michael Jackson Auditorium was only a 10 minute drive away and we didn't go. So where DID we go? Well, we were in Hollywood so naturally the Hollywood Walk of Fame was closest. We went for dinner at the Hard Rock Cafe, capturing a photo of his star outside the Chinese Theatre along the way. The strange thing about the Walk of Fame is everyone's head is down reading the names and as such you don't pay too much attention to what is around you. Inside the Hard Rock Cafe they had one piece of MJ memorabilia; a fedora he wore at some stage.
Not sure I'd want to go here at night, even without the
zombies! The iconic Thriller dance section happened here.
The next morning we did a whirlwind tour of some significant MJ sites starting with Union Pacific Avenue, where perhaps the most famous music video (short film) of all time was filmed; Michael Jackson's Thriller. To be brutally honest, there were a lot of homeless people around and tents and caravans and the atmosphere was strangely intimidating so we just took a couple of photos and left, then headed to the house which was used at the end of the same film, where Ola Ray runs into terrified of the advancing zombies.
Next up, the scene of such tragic sadness that even to this day it doesn't seem real. 100 N Carolwood Drive in Holmby Hills, where on 25th June 2009 Michael Jackson died at the hands of Dr Conrad Murray after being administered a lethal dose of propofol and other sedatives. I don't need to go into the multitude of things that were wrong with this, and the simple things that could and should have happened that morning to save Michael's life. Whether the prosecutors got it right with a charge of "Involuntary Manslaughter", or if they copped out and took a safe charge to ensure a conviction in lieu of a Murder charge and difficulty proving it is nothing but conjecture at this point. The fact remains that Michael Jackson died here, and did not need to.
Thriller House!
I spent a little bit of time at these gates, not as much as Neverland, but enough that at one stage a Black SUV stopped about 60 yards away from the gate between me and Sunset Boulevard, I realised they were waiting for me to step away from the gate. Presumably this was the new resident, as soon as I realised she wanted to get in I apologised and moved out of the way to the other side of the street. I was able to peek in and imagine that terrible morning as Michael would have been brought down on the gurney, out into the ambulance and then backed out of the driveway. I was now standing on the opposite side, next to a now ubiquitous advertising board for star maps.
The gates of 100 N Carolwood Drive, Holmby Hills where
Michael Jackson died on 25th June 2009.
The Hollywood celebrity tour buses came past with a bit of regularity, and the lady selling the maps did a good job and we convinced ourselves to get one just to see what was around the area. Given Disneyland was our next destination in a few days, we went around the corner to Walt Disney's former home, then back to Elvis Presley's former home which was opposite Jackson's final home. As we were around that side, the garage to the home opened up and a beautiful mahogany (I think) staircase was revealed from inside the garage up to the home. This was presumably where security would have loaded him into his car at times, not always using the front driveway to avoid paparazzi and the likes.
The emergency doors where Michael was wheeled in on a gurney,
and later pronounced dead, aged 50.
From there we followed the path he would have taken in the ambulance, down Sunset Boulevard to UCLA Ronald Reagan Medical Center, past the Emergency entrance where photographers got a shot of him being wheeled into the hospital. I don't know why I wanted to go there, perhaps it was because this was the last place where efforts to keep him alive were, but also knowing he had already died by the time he was put into the ambulance. It was truly sad.
In between other places we visited 875 S Bundy Drive in Brentwood, where OJ Simpson murdered two people. Somewhat ironically while we were there a white Ford Bronco pulled up, and I moved to take what I thought was a unique picture opportunity, until I realised the Bronco had "OJ Tours" written on the side and that someone had specifically bought a White Bronco to take people to not only the site of the murders but to the site of OJ Simpson's former home on Rockingham. I find myself as a bit of a hypocrite because at the same time I find it abhorrent that there are companies out there set up purely to profit from the well publicised murders of Ron Goldman and Nicole Brown Simpson, I wanted to visit these same sites and see for myself. Thousands of others also do which shows the demand is out there for such tours. We just got there ourselves rather than pay a bloke in a Bronco for a glorified taxi-ride with his over-embellished stories of who these people actually were. I heard a snippet of such crap from the tour guide in one of Kim Goldman's podcast "Confronting OJ Simpson" episodes. Definitely worth a listen, by the way, a very eye-opening listen for those intrigued by the crimes and the effects on people involved.
Hayvenhurst, Jackson Family home, where Billie Jean and
other massive hits were written by Michael Jackson before
he moved to Neverland Ranch.
As well as the usual sights of LA such as the Hollywood Sign, the Griffith Observatory, Warner Brothers Studios and Universal Studios, there were a couple of other MJ related locations left for us in the City of Angels. First was in the suburb of Encino, where the Jackson family home on Hayvenhurst Avenue is found. From the road you can't actually see the property, but again I wanted to stop at the gates and contemplate that behind those gates is where Michael wrote some of his biggest hits like Don't Stop Til You Get Enough, and my personal favourite, Billie Jean. Just a day or two before we were there, Michael's son Prince had hosted an event to raise funds for his charity Heal LA, and while I stood at the gates I umm'd and ahh'd about trying to find and press a doorbell so I could make a $50 donation in person to someone from the Jackson camp to either the charity or to Taj Jackson's documentary effort, something I really want to contribute to. I was lucky enough to personally donate to the McGrath Foundation in 2018 directly to Glenn McGrath*, and that was the sort of thing I was aiming for.
Donating to the McGrath Foundation
with Glenn McGrath, Sydney Cricket Ground,
January 2018.
*for readers outside of Australia/UK, Glenn McGrath was an Australian cricketer whose wife passed away from Cancer and he set up a foundation in her honour with the purpose of getting Breast Care Nurses into country areas of Australia and spreading awareness of Breast Cancer.
I have no problem approaching or talking to celebrities, so it wasn't a case of nerves, but in the end I decided not to for the simple reason that this was their home, their private refuge. I could easily donate online, what right do I have to interrupt their day at home just to fulfill a desire to meet a Jackson family member? Hopefully I can meet them one day, whether that is at a show of some kind or just in passing. Plus, from their point of view they must have people calling all the time, how would it look for them to see a random guy from the other side of the planet at their gate asking if he could give them $50?! Although it is a label the media and others like to throw around, Michael Jackson fans do not want to be labelled as crazy, and the vast majority are not crazy. Another reason I didn't want to ring the bell, avoid that perception! I would also encourage any other fans or media that find themselves at the gates of a celebrity home to just be respectful and be aware of people's right to privacy.
Flowers and Cards left at the entrance to the
Great Mausoleum, Forest Lawn Cemetery, Glendale, CA.
The final MJ location we visited was a difficult one; Forest Lawn Cemetery in Glendale, (believed to be) the final resting place for the mortal remains of Michael Joseph Jackson. Tabloid stories have said that Michael's body isn't here, and that he was secretly cremated and scattered Neverland, but can we really believe anything the tabloid media writes about Michael Jackson? On the off chance that is true, I still got to see Neverland Ranch from the sky, and now I was at Forest Lawn so either way I have been to his final resting place. I wanted to believe he was at Forest Lawn, and although I was not able to go inside and see his actual tomb, there was plenty of evidence of his presence; several floral tributes were left outside, cards and photographs, messages of love, messages of sorrow. I had only ever seen Michael Jackson in person once, in March 2009 at London's O2 Arena during his press conference to announce the ill-fated This Is It residency. I had no idea that would be his final public speech.
The one and only time I ever saw Michael Jackson in person.
Late 2008 through most of 2009 was a time of deep personal trauma for me in my private life. I don't wish to divulge, but it was the lowest I had ever been and it was completely out of my control, in that sense I could identify with some of the things Michael Jackson went through although on nothing like the scale he experienced. I had so much taken away from me in the (British) summer of 2009 that the 4 tickets to see Michael Jackson in London on Sunday 26th July 2009 were the one thing I was clinging to that summer, the one thing I had waited my whole life for. I had been offered £5,000 for my tickets sometime in May 2009 after the shows had sold out and I declined, saying I wanted to see the man live in concert more than I wanted that kind of money.
On the evening 25th June 2009 I was still living in the UK, and I was with one of the friends who would be coming with me to the concert, and we were organising how to get there, what we would wear and basically repeating "We're going to see Michael Jackson in 4 weeks!". Then I received a text from someone in our group of friends at that stage that I wasn't particularly keen on, and will forever be annoyed that it was her that gave me the news. "Charlie you need to turn on the news, they are saying that apparently Michael Jackson has had a heart attacked and has died." We immediately put the news on, and sat there in complete shock, wide-eyed and mouths agape, hoping it wasn't true.
As soon as we heard the term cardiac arrest we knew, though I refused to accept. Then it was confirmed. I left my friends house around 11pm, and sped home so unsafely and furiously I probably shouldn't have been in a car. I was screaming "NO!" and a few expletives on the way home. I put his CD on, opened all windows and blasted Billie Jean. I was later told by a mate that he had heard a car go through town blaring Michael Jackson and he turned to his family and said "I bet that's Charlie." I stayed up until maybe 2 or 3am and watched Jermaine confirm the worst. Then went into work the next day and made an arse of myself.
Just over 10 years later, here I was unable to see his tomb, but immeasurably closer to him (physically) than I had ever been before. People use the word closure, I don't really feel that is appropriate. I never knew the guy, I saw him once, I never had the opportunity to speak to him although I had always thought I would one day. Yet upon finishing up recording and walking around Forest Lawn I felt a sense of peace, a sense of completing a mission. I'd seen what I wanted to see, I'd been to Neverland, been to his grave (as close as I could get), and now I could leave.
Please understand that this whole trip to the USA was nothing to do with Michael Jackson. As mentioned before we did way more things that were nothing to do with MJ than things that were; Dallas and the JFK Assassination, Fort Worth, Washington DC and Museums, Coney Island, New York City, Helicopters, tall buildings, Vegas, Grand Canyon, San Francisco, Alcatraz, Disneyland, and many more. We briefly had a couple of hours at Chicago O'Hare Airport and could see Gary, Indiana in the distance, where most of the Jackson family were born, including Michael. Perhaps one day we'll get there. Perhaps one day we'll go back to Los Angeles and visit the Auditorium, Tower Records, the studios he recorded Thriller and other albums at, perhaps we'll get to go back to Neverland, which is now no longer up for sale as I write this. Either way, I feel happy that we got to visit the places we did.
The focus now when it comes to Michael Jackson is to continue to play his music, continue to defend his name against the ubiquitous lies, and do so in a calm, conscientious, and creditable manner. The whole MJ Fan community needs to be aware that responding with emotion fits into the media narrative of Jackson fans being crazy. If the response is factual, if the response is concise, if the response is convincing then as Michael himself said in 2005, "lies run sprints but the truth wins marathons." The truth will win this marathon one day, and it is up to the fans, the Estate and anyone who knew the man to ensure that this happens.
*I'd like to take this opportunity to thank all of the fans who have reached out to me after my film of flying over Neverland was posted to YouTube, and shared by the brilliant people at The MJCast, the world's premiere podcast on all things Michael Jackson. Especially Elise, so thank you Elise. Next time we come to the USA we'll make time to get to San Diego. Most of all though I would like to thank my wife Jess, who as well as putting up with my Michael Jackson fandom (some might say obsession) for all these years, also took an interest in it and seemed to enjoy it almost as much as I did. Not just the Michael Jackson things though, also the air and space museums too. And of course without her this trip would have been nowhere near as enjoyable, and the memories we have will last a very long time. So thank you Jess, I love you, and I hope we get to do these trips more and more!
It sounds so easy, doesn't it; "Do what makes you happy" But somewhere in the chain you get overtaken by the need to pay bills or to do something else. Flying, being a pilot, being around aircraft is something I have wanted to do since I was 11 years old. I was fortunate to work at a flying school at Exeter (and sometimes Plymouth) for 4 years, having done a week of work experience in the same building for the school that was there before. So landing a job aged 18 in seemingly the perfect environment to achieve the goal of becoming a pilot, why didn't it happen for the kid who'd only ever imagined that one vocation?
I can't put my finger on a single reason. Coming to Australia twice for cricket? Too much focus on cricket? Too much focus on other things? Honestly there can't be a single answer but my last flight in the UK towards my pilot's licence was in May 2008. I didn't take another training flight until May 2019. A lot happened in between, the single biggest trauma in my life began to unfold in November 2008 and took its toll well into 2009 and beyond. To this day it still causes me pain, but it's dealt with. Saving for a visa and permanent move to Australia in 2013 followed, and settling in while saving for a wedding, saving for a home, working in an industry I didn't like at all for a while before getting a job in cricket and still not relinquishing an amateur cricket career ultimately kept me from flying, as well as multiple family bereavements. But it is not like the thoughts of flying had left me, especially given the influence my late Grandfather had on that particular goal.
Photo: Copyright Lee Gatland Photography
Upon taking that first lesson from Bankstown in May, the immediate feeling when we shut down the engine in the Piper Archer was a simple rhetorical question; "Why the hell had I waited so long to do that?!" Forget cricket, which has given me many opportunities and introduced me to many people including heroes of mine, I had found my mojo again. Flying makes me truly happy. Note, please don't take that as me saying nothing else does... Of course my family, especially my ever-understanding wife do too! In terms of an activity, flying is really it for me. I'm not spiritual, but I cannot describe the feeling inside of me when I'm at the controls of an aircraft. It's a destiny for me, it's my peak, my zen, my happy place. "Above us, only sky".
The truth is that if you want something bad enough then you will do what you need to do to make it happen. From late 2009 into 2010 was when I first really envisaged leaving the UK on a permanent basis after having met Jess. That was my focus, that was my goal. I wanted it badly enough and I got it. Did I ever really want to be a professional cricketer badly enough...? Well, in theory yes I did. In practicality I never did the hard yards in order to get there. With flying, I rather too easily said it was too expensive and put it to bed, resigning myself to thinking it would never happen.
Photo: Copyright Lee Gatland Photography
I set up a crowdfunding campaign to get me back in the air and raised approximately $1,000. That campaign came to a screeching halt with my Grandparents in the UK falling ill, and taking a trip to say my final goodbyes to them, a couple of changes of job coupled with buying our first home. Then a car accident and the subsequent physio and recovery...! Now I'm in a place where I can do it and I've simply got to.
At the time of writing I have taken two flights, and I've started a video diary. What would be a great help for me is if you could like, share and subscribe to my YouTube channel, Facebook pages and help me to achieve my dream. Here is my video diary: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL5f8SNPsAuOADaADwPuI1mRV4JbFAxGpM
I finally restarted that campaign and began using the funds for what they were given to me for. And now the fire is lit. Flying has to be my focus now, I have retired from playing cricket. Flying will cost me more but last me longer. If I have to wash cars, or sell photographs, or work extra shifts at the Reptile Park to fund it then that's what I'll do, but I have that fire again.
Aviation is my biggest passion, including photography of planes such as this JetStar 787 departing Gold Coast airport
When I look at my time as a Sales Rep in the packaging industry, the words of Jim Carrey come to mind. Talking about how his father took a "safe" job as an accountant rather than chase his dream, and how he was let go from that job, Jim Carrey said "You can fail at what you don't want, so you might as well take a chance on doing what you love." Don't get me wrong, I have loved working in the cricket world for Kingsgrove Sports! But I'm now 33 years old and flying has to be for me now. It is with that in mind that I am so happy to announce that I have got a new job at Bankstown aerodrome in a capacity that will be much in line with what I used to do at Aviation South West in Exeter all those years ago.
I would like to take this chance to publicly express my gratitude to Harry and Rohini Solomons, as well as Dave Solomons and all at Kingsgrove Sports for allowing me to work in the cricket industry, in a sport I have been so passionate about for my whole life. Also for being so understanding that my biggest passion is aviation and getting back into the flying environment is perhaps something I have been destined for, I am truly sad and excited at the same time.
So from here on in the Flying For Fred campaign will be more of a video diary than the crowdfunding it was set up to be. There never was any obligation for you to donate, but those who did I remain grateful to. Of course you still have the option to donate if you wish to, then if you're game, I'll take you flying with me so you can share my passion. THAT'S what its all about in the end.
Crap puns to start this article? I don't see why not. I recently had laser eye surgery, and have had many people ask me about it and what it involves, how the recovery is going and many other questions so I thought I would put it into writing (not braille) for you here so that you don't go into it blind. OK, that's enough. Get on with it.
The morning after my surgery under
the effects of lots of medication.
Back in the days when I used to play cricket and take it somewhat seriously I decided to have a
season abroad in Australia to make myself a better player. When I got back to England the improvement was there for the first half of the season, and then I went on the sort of streak that makes me wonder how I didn't give the game up then and there; SEVEN ducks in a row, three of which were Golden (For those of you who don't know about cricket, a duck is when you are out without scoring, a golden duck is when you are out from the first delivery you face). It was about this time I thought I should get my eyes tested.
Sure enough, I needed corrective measures. I have never ever wanted to wear glasses so I went for contact lenses, and after a few failed attempts at inserting them resulted in bloodshot eyes I finally got the hang of it. I went for the ones that last up to a month and only took them out to sleep. I even got a cheer from the players balcony at Bovey Tracey Cricket Club when I finally got off the mark again. After a few years of this carry-on I suffered something called Episcleritis, which is basically when the eyes don't get enough oxygen and go red (see photos). It was recommended that I get glasses, and when using contact lenses I should only use the single-use daily ones. In 2011, I got glasses and used contact lenses for playing sport and social events.
I hated my glasses, so much so that I took them off for photos and vowed to get my eyes lasered one day. A cousin of mine had his done and he said it was one of the best things he ever did, and for approx £300 per eye it sounded like a great idea! Beats paying £150 every few years for glasses. I went for the referral and in typical style I was told my eyes needed a "special procedure that costs £1,000 per eye". Thank you for your time, see you never.
Episcleritis in my right eye at the end of the 2012 season.
This was September, by late October it still hadn't cleared.
(Pictured with Pete Bradley (L) and Chris Bradley (R))
And so the dream of laser eye surgery died a little death, not to be resurrected for a few more years. I went to a place in Parramatta in 2015 for a consultation, LASIK surgery for $3,000 per eye. Thanks but no thanks, I'll keep saving. Fast forward to the start of this year and once again I decided to go for a consultation, this time after a bit more in-depth research I found Sydney Eye Clinic. I booked myself in for an assessment at the Baulkham Hills office, and learnt of a new procedure called Advanced Surface Laser.
The difference is that with LASIK, they make an incision around your iris and open it like a flap, laser in behind it and close the flap again. That incision will never fully heal and there is a (very small) risk of infection. With Advanced Surface Laser they simply reshape the surface of the eye to ensure the light hits the inside of the eye in the correct way, therefore giving you perfect vision. No incisions, reduced risk of infection and crucially a lot more cost effective at $1,200 per eye which would come down further because of the Health Fund I chose. Naturally I made an appointment on the spot although I would have to wait a month to get in, and travel to Darlinghurst for the op.
Despite being told I would need a carer on the day, I completely underestimated the reliance I would have on my wife to undertake this role. I thought it would be a case of have the surgery, be driven home and after a rest day all would be normal. Not. A. Chance. Don't get me wrong, whilst the recovery was not easy it was an absolutely miniscule price to pay for the results, and I'll get to that, but if you do opt to go for this procedure be prepared. They give you a week off for a reason.
Sydney Eye Clinic say that in order to minimise the time off work you need they do the procedures on a Friday so you have the weekend to recover, and will sign you off from the Friday until usually the Wednesday or Thursday. In my case, they signed me off until the Friday meaning I had 6 days off "sick". You can't wear your contact lenses for two weeks before the procedure because it affects the surface of your eye and it needs time to settle.
October 2012 in Australia. Episcleritis in right eye still apparent.
Upon arrival on the day of the appointment I was introduced to Dr Ilan Sebban and immediately I was reassured. I cannot fault the man, he was polite, courteous, understanding, funny and relaxed me before an operation I was nervous about. It could have been the Xanax tablet kicking in to be fair, but when I later met him again without the effect of medication I thought the same, so there's that. You get sent downstairs to the pharmacy to pick up your medication. I honestly thought it would be a few eye-drops, and didn't expect the bagful they gave me. Valium (diazepam), Dozile sleeping tablets, prescribed painkillers and a script for Endone if the pain becomes unbearable and various eye-drops to be used at different times? You feel like you need a degree in chemistry to understand it and at this point I was mentally preparing for the operation so I switched off and let Jess take the instructions. I'm glad she did.
After a few final tests, calibrations and anaesthetic eye-drops I was led into the theatre to be greeted by more friendly staff, a bed and a great big piece of apparatus which was obviously the frickin' laser. You know those things that dentists use to keep your mouth open? Imagine those made of metal and for your eyes... Blinking would be a bad thing, so these prevent it. Sod matchsticks.
While laying down on the bed they move the apparatus in place, and impress on you how important it is for the following 30 seconds to look at the green dot, the whole green dot and nothing but the green dot, so help you God. Obviously you do it, ignoring the smell of welding or burning that is in the air. You breathe a sigh of relief as they rinse the eye with a solution, and then it's onto the next eye. The green dot! Don't forget the green dot! Same again, same burning smell, same rinsing and then voila! It's done! You feel nothing while the procedure is being done. No pain, maybe a mild pressure, but nothing. However when it is done, your eyes begin to sting more and more. You're becoming light sensitive. You are so focussed on this new sensation that anything they are telling you wouldn't register, and this is why your carer is so important. They listen to the instructions for you.
This was about the time it became clear it was a bigger deal that I gave it credit for. Jess had to guide me to the car, I couldn't keep my eyes open because it hurt. I got in the car and she drove home while I was there with a baseball cap over my face to try and ease the light sensitivity issue. It was a good 30-40 minute drive home but it felt like double. As soon as we got home I got into bed and was given the valium, probably some pain medication and thankfully fell asleep. Other than toilet breaks and some food I don't think I moved from that spot for at least 24 hours. The pain eased off, and the vision was blurry but the best thing for me to do was sleep.
Jess deserves enormous credit for keeping me to the schedule of medication and eye-drops all weekend, by Monday I was able to look after myself my vision was blurry still, and that lasted until well after I went back to work with gradual improvements. Podcasts and the radio are your friend in those first few days to combat boredom, television isn't the best idea for too long as it dries your eyes.
After two or three weeks there was still some blurriness, to the point that I was a little scared driving into work for a week or so because I couldn't read number plates except for the car immediately in front of me in traffic. However as each day progressed I felt more and more comfortable and things kept improving. When I went for my follow-up appointment after a couple of weeks Dr Sebban asked which line I could read on the usual screens they give you for eye-tests and I could read the bottom line, which surprised him! At this stage I was a little apprehensive that it hadn't worked as well as I hoped but he assured me the skin across the eye takes approximately 7-8 weeks to fully heal, so although your vision should be good enough after a week or so (and it was) it takes a little longer to become perfect. As I write this it has been 6 weeks since my operation and my vision is way better now than it was when I had contact lenses on, almost as perfect as when I had glasses.
I only have eye drops to last a couple more weeks and after that it is done. I couldn't be happier with the results even if they stay as they are now, and the fact they may improve further over the next couple of weeks is a bonus. In conclusion, it is definitely worth doing. If you have the right health fund you could save yourself even more, but if I remove that from the calculations and with the knowledge that this should last at least 10-15 years then I have already saved money if you compare that with the cost (and hassle) of glasses and contact lenses over that same period.
I'll happily answer any questions you might have, however if you seriously want to get it done book yourself an appointment with Sydney Eye Clinic and see Dr Sebban yourself. I am yet to speak to any person who has had their eyes lasered and said anything bad about it, everyone has said they are so glad they got it done. I'm the same and now I can vouch for it with my experiences. I started with a crap pun so now I'll end with one; You'll see what I mean.
