So How Is Married Life?

Somewhat inevitably after 3 months of marriage I have lost count of the number of times I've been asked "How Is Married Life?" There are plenty of jokes and anecdotes floating around about how everything gets worse after your wedding day, particularly from my ever-positive colleagues! However I am yet to fully comprehend that point of view because quite honestly I think things have got much much better since April.

Family time at Copacabana

Now before you cry out that it's only been 3 months I am fully aware of that! But it has been 3 months without the stresses of planning every tiny detail for a massive day, planning for visits, entertaining people or worrying about cricket selections and matches. There is now less arguing, less stress and we have both relaxed into our lives as Mr and Mrs Carter. We both thoroughly enjoyed having my family and friends over from England and we wish they were here permanently though we realise the reasons why this is not the case, and day-to-day life has since settled down. It truly was the best day of our lives but I think we are both glad that it is finally done.

The majority of the credit for planning the wedding has to go to Jess, she knew what she wanted and for the most part, she got it. It wasn't simply a case of me sitting back and letting her do everything and there were a few disagreements along the way. Through it all we never lost sight of what exactly the day meant to us and why we were doing this, and no-one can tell me that our day wasn't a complete success. Perhaps we are still riding the wave of euphoria off the back of the wedding? Perhaps all the difficulties in planning made the day seem so perfect in the end? I did write a blog a week after the wedding but forgot to post it. You can read it here or just scroll down!

For all the bad stories and the jokes there must be an underlying reason why so many people do this, why marriage is still so "popular". It's not a competition, it is a very individual thing. Not everyone is meant to get married, not everyone should. This may sound sanctimonious of me but I think I was right to propose to Jess a year after meeting her.  I think I was right to marry her. I was convinced from almost the very start that she was the one and I was more than confident that she shared the same life values I did. Quite clearly, if either one of us didn't think that was the case we wouldn't be married.

I guess it is also inevitable that the other line of questions has followed closely, namely "So when are you planning to have kids?" Answer: We want to get our own house first. Once again I have lost count of that question, but I'm sure we'll hear it more and more until we do have a child. And then it'll be "(When) will you have another?" This is human nature, and thus normal. It's what we have to look forward to. To answer the original question, How Is Married Life? It's perfectly normal, and that is why it is so great.

Family: It means the world

A Moment My Whole Life Had Been Leading Up To

(Written 28th April 2015)

We've been told it a million times; "Every girl dreams about her wedding day". But I'll let you in on something; Most guys do too. Although the planning of our big day involved a great deal of stress, little disagreements, unforeseen circumstances and difficulty in even getting to this stage I can safely say that it has all been worth it. It has only been a week or so since I married my bride and I am still riding the wave of euphoria that comes with it but with hindsight I don't think I'd really want to change a thing about it.

Finally getting married

Sometimes you have to sit back, take stock and really think about what you have done. I have found myself doing that in the last few weeks as it really beggars belief the journey I have taken to get here. Aged 20 my visit here seemed like nothing more than a gap year to go play some cricket and have plenty of fun like a 20 year old should, it turned into the best time of my life to date. Two years later in late 2008 my world was turned upside down and put me into a deep deep depression and paranoia that I wouldn't wish on anyone, and it continued well into 2009 before I was dragged back out to Sydney.

Still dealing with the issues from afar, in December 2009 I went to a beach party at The Ranch and met Jess. Nothing that night suggested either of us would be where we are now or that we would do what we have done. As we got to know each other more it became clear that there was something special between us, but the knowledge that we were from opposite sides of the globe was a hurdle neither of us knew how to jump at that stage.

Leaving Sydney that second time was amongst the hardest things I'd had to do, luckily things soon began to take shape and Jess came to the UK. Trips to Paris, Newcastle and London while struggling to get a job back at Flybe, 6 months apart working any job I could get my hands on, a relationship truly tested by distance. Once I knew she was coming back to England I had to propose. It's hard to describe but when I decided I was going to propose I knew that Jess would say yes. If I thought there was the slightest chance she'd say no I would not have proposed. You know when you have found that Special One, cliché or not.

London, England, 27th December 2010. A country brought to a halt for most of the previous week by heavy snow, an Australian girl coming from 30℃ Sydney to temperatures below freezing and more than likely jet-lagged at the same time! An opportunistic moment to pop a life-changing question beneath a world famous landmark such as the London Eye. Yes, yes, YES! A little over a year from meeting, and fresh from a 6 month period apart we were engaged. You just know when it's right, I'm telling you.

I love Devon to this day but not a single bone in my body regrets leaving. It may have taken until March 2013 for me to do so but I haven't looked back. I couldn't get back to Flybe and there were people there with agendas to stop me from doing so, but I don't regret trying while I was there. Perhaps deep down they knew as everyone else did that I was destined to be with Jess in Australia. The only thing I regret about leaving is that my family can't be within easy reach but modern technology being what it is I can speak with them every day if I like.

London Taxi's in front of
Sydney Harbour Bridge.
Our engagement and wedding summed up beautifully

It came around eventually, I married Jess on Saturday 18th April 2015 in one of the world's most beautiful locations. To be joined by my parents, sister, nieces, uncles, aunts, cousins and friends from both England and Australia left me extremely humbled that there are people out there that want us to succeed. And to have the love and support from both families and sets of friends is mind-blowing.

I found myself looking around on that Saturday at the Ceremony taking it all in. My beautiful new wife, the Sydney Harbour Bridge and Opera House, the friends and relatives from Devon and Cheshire, the Australian family of mine meeting their English cousins for the first time, all because of us... And staring at the ring on my finger. I pondered the scene and suddenly I didn't feel like a young adult anymore. I really felt like a man, like I had entered a new role. I flashed back to the little kid in Fringford, Oxfordshire that struggled to make friends at school; to the teenager at South Dartmoor with the same struggles; to a lifetime of visits to Cheshire in my Grandparents dining room, and excursions with Grandad to Manchester Airport. And yet somehow that same kid had grown into this, into a Husband with a responsibility and previous burdens left behind.

It has been impressed on me by my Grandfather from an early age that of his grandchildren I am the only male bearing the Carter name, and so it is up to me to continue it. The biggest wrench of the day was that my Grandparents were not healthy enough to have made the trip from Cheshire to Sydney in order to celebrate the day with us. Whether anyone believes it or not I have always wanted to make them proud, probably more so than my own parents. And while there are things about me they may not be proud of (I do swear a lot and they are NOT Michael Jackson fans!) I would like to think that my achievements and my more meaningful actions have.

So Grandad, I am proud to have added Jess to our family tree. Given our story so far I have no reason to think that our future is anything other than bright. It may be a few years yet but I hope that you believe the future of our family name is in good hands. Please trust me when I say that I am just as proud of that family name as you are.

Thank you all for sharing our special day