RIP Phillip Hughes: Another Tragedy, And One That Hits Home

My last blog entry touched on the tragedy surrounding the death of Robin Williams and the depression he suffered, and today we have learnt of another tragedy and one that will affect many people I associate with. Phillip Hughes, just 3 days short of his 26th birthday, has died after being struck in the neck by a cricket ball 48 hours before. Tragedy is an overused word, but this more than qualifies. Especially when you take into consideration that he was on the verge of being recalled to the Australian Test side to face India next week on the back of Captain Michael Clarke's injury and his own excellent form.

I won't go into the details of Phil Hughes' career as they will have been covered in the press several times this week and will continue to be as the full story emerges. Here in Sydney the news has come as a complete shock and is made even more devastating by the fact that not a single person has a bad word to say about the bloke. What makes it even more difficult to handle is that it was a freakish accident and one that could quite easily have happened to anyone that we play with, and could happen again to anyone.

What has really hit home for me is that I have bowled bouncers that have hit people in the head, and they weren't even wearing helmets. Granted, I am not the quickest bowler around and of course I am not going out there with the aim of injuring another player, and neither was NSW paceman Sean Abbott in the case of Phil Hughes. Aggressive bowling is part of cricket and I have been on the receiving end of this kind of bowling too, from guys that bowl a lot quicker than me. Thankfully for me, I have not (yet) taken a blow to the head with a cricket ball. Like so many things in life though, there are those that have been hit and those that are going to be. I have been hit in the neck, as an 18 year old by an Australian quick back in England. In my case it flew over the keeper's head, we ran 2 and I hit the next ball for 4 to win the game.

What is truly frightening about this is it could be your mate on a cricket field stricken by a blow. We play on a Saturday or Sunday with our mates and against them too. The images of David Warner, Brad Haddin, Shane Watson, Mitchell Starc and others with extreme distress on their faces with their mate Phil Hughes on the ground really slams it home.

What if it was one of my team-mates? How would I react if it was Chris McPherson or Pete Saliba or Dylan Dharmadasa with a bad injury on the field? Or if it was a member of the opposition? I can't imagine the devastation in Sean Abbott's mind at the moment, he must feel completely awful that his delivery not just injured but resulted in the death of an opponent, of a mate. I sincerely hope he gets all the counselling he needs as the early reports are that he has not coped well with the news.

It is not much more than a gesture, but we cancelled our training session tonight at Macquarie Uni CC. Within 30 mins of Hughes' death I requested our President makes sure all our players wear black armbands in our fixtures this weekend and I am sure the same will be done across Sydney Shires and Sydney Grade Cricket.

In the last twelve months the sporting world has had 3 notable head injuries; Michael Schumacher's skiing accident which left him in a coma for months and in a terrible condition for life, Jules Bianchi who collided with a JCB tractor recovering another car at the Japanese GP leaving him in a coma from which he has not woken, and now this.

The death of a sportsman is always tragic, and in such freakish circumstances makes it even more so. All we know is that right now the whole of Australia, and the entire cricket world is in mourning for a bloke who has been described by those around him as an "absolute champion" and there isn't a soul who would argue otherwise. He died playing the sport he loved, he finished his career unbeaten on 63 and thus will forever be NOT OUT.

RIP Phil Hughes. You are already sorely missed and will be for a long time.

Forever Not Out

Robin Williams Tragedy Highlights Human Nature

We have all seen at least one Robin Williams film. We've all laughed at his genius and could probably quote at least one line from a film or stand-up routine. His explanation of the Scottish accent and how the game of golf was invented still has me and other friends in fits of laughter. But the sad story that he had been suffering depression before deciding to take his own life is almost the definition of the word "Tragic", and highlights the fact that no matter how big a star or how funny someone may be, everyone is susceptible to depression. They are all human, after all.

Those of you who have read my blog before will be aware that I have battled depression in the past, and that my way of dealing with it had been to write about it. I have written about how I became aware of it and how it has affected me for the last 6 years or so, and the realisation of how it works. I have reached the conclusion that every single human being will deal with depression at some point in their life, some more so than others and some people are able to mask it very well.

For me, it comes in cycles. Back in England the occurrences would be much more regular than they have been here in Australia but I am currently in one of those stages, and have been for the last week or so. For most people the battle is understanding what brings it on, but for me the battle is ensuring that it doesn't affect other people around me. That's not a battle I can always win, as much as I try. Certain things can bring it on, and certain things that I enjoy doing can bring me out of it just as quickly. At this moment in time it is taking every ounce of my strength to haul myself out of it.

People associate depression with a mental illness, and it is absolutely not. It is a physical illness. It cannot be helped, and that is what helps me understand and deal with it. I know that at some point in the future I will be absolutely fine, this cycle will pass through, the only question is when? It can be as simple as seeing someone you haven't seen for a while, a little bit of praise at work, a sporting win or even going to your "happy place" if you have one. The fact that people are quick to judge sufferers and dismiss it as being a "sook" is what inhibits so many people from talking about it, but I still think everyone goes through it at some stage. Some individuals more frequently than others. I am grateful that I haven't been through it very many times in the last 18 months since preparing to leave the UK. 

The other thing that can be a help or a hindrance is the knowledge that certain people have an image of you that you need to uphold, or that you need to conduct yourself in a certain way. It isn't appropriate to take personal issues to work, and meeting so many different people on a daily basis helps because they don't need to know the pain you go through. You can put on a front when necessary and that helps temporarily. Sometimes I can even go to see a customer and that meeting can completely lift me out of the trough and I'm back in a good state of mind for days. Working at the Reptile Park of a Sunday completely lifts me out of it, even if this weekend it was only temporary, and by the evening I was down again. Is there a reason? Probably not, it's just human nature.

So what of Robin Williams? A professional actor, comedian. Someone who even in death, through his work can still bring such happiness and laughter to people, was still vulnerable to the trappings of a physical illness called "Depression". His own profession was about building a believable character to mask it all. Did you have any suspicion that he was suffering before the reports of it came out after his death? I know I didn't, and at first it came as a surprise. Then I realised that it must affect everyone at some point. It's just that some are better at hiding it away than others, and the real challenge is making sure that someone who really needs the help gets it before it's too late.

If this blog reminds you of anyone at all, get in touch with them now. A simple call or message could save their life and you wouldn't even know it.

RIP Robin Williams.

Who Is Important To You?

I seriously cannot believe how my life has turned out at times. I grew up feeling that everyone else had it better than I did, that everyone else got what they wanted and I never did. I've been abused, lied about, gone through hells some of you cannot imagine and yet today I feel more fortunate than ever and appreciating everything around me.

At Titanic in Belfast

These paragraphs are to show my continuing appreciation for many aspects of my life today, including my adopted country, my family and adopted families and the many new friends I've made. But this particular piece I am writing concentrates on the one person who means the most to me, who saved me from a living hell without even knowing it, who has loved me unconditionally since we met and who I am delighted to say will be my wife as of next year; Jess.

At Sarah & Garth's Wedding

I don't really like clichés, but when it comes to describing our relationship they cannot be avoided. It has been a fairytale; it was pretty much "Love At First Sight"; it has been against all odds; and we've let nothing (and no-one who tries) come between us. We faced many challenges, we have done everything we could to make it work and we have succeeded. I've always been the type to wear my heart on my sleeve and I'm not afraid of saying what I think or feel, and with the advent of social media there were plenty of public outpourings of emotion.

Lands End 2011

Think about it hypothetically... You are 12,000 miles from home and you meet a girl. You're going home in a few months time, no guarantee if you'll ever see each other again. Miracle number 1 happens and fate sees that this girl can travel 12,000 miles to your home for 6 weeks... But then there's no guarantee when you may see each other again. 6 months later you finally do, and you ask for her hand in marriage under some of London's most iconic landmarks, she says yes! 5 months later she comes to live with you for 18 months followed by another 6 months apart to wait for the visa to come to live with her. You've been together for 3 years but spent more than 1 year cumulatively living on opposite sides of the world, in opposite time zones! This was our situation, and now we've spent another 15 months together in a stable environment the past really does look like a fairy tale.

White Hart Lane 2012

Frodsham 2012

Like every couple, we have our moments. We get frustrated with each other, sometimes over silly little things but by the same token we have many many good moments and it's for this reason I am excited to be on the verge of marrying someone who I knew was my soul mate a very short time after meeting her. Jess is a very private person so I won't embarrass her by going into too much detail about our relationship, but when we first met we were both scared of doing something that might scare the other away! I think we both made an effort to make sure everything we did was special and made that extra effort to impress each other. In her mum's own words, when Jess first met me she "had a very sudden interest in going to cricket matches!". Since it has become clear that we are going to be together forever, the interest has subsided to zero!

Our first visit to the
Australian Reptile Park

Just a little Alligator

Jess does a lot for me, I know she does. Washing, tidying, organising, ironing, cooking and a lot of domestic chores. I think sometimes she gets frustrated because she thinks I don't appreciate it, but I really do. We used to go out for meals fairly regularly but since we have been saving hard for this wedding we haven't gone out so much. I think it's time to recapture that a little and treat her to a night out every now and then.

Jess doesn't like snakes,
but for me held this Woma Python

A lot of the frustrations couples appear to have stem from one thinking the other doesn't care. I don't claim to be a relationship guidance counsellor or anything close to that, but occasionally taking the time to appreciate your loved ones costs you nothing. I make no apologies for telling my Fiancée that I love her and I make no apologies for doing it publicly like this. As far as I'm concerned, if you've decided to click this link you have done so out of curiosity for my thoughts, and should you not agree for any reason then just press Alt-F4 now, because to my way of thinking there is no better woman in my life than Jess, and I want to make sure she knows it.

Fraser Island 2013

Without being morbid, we never know what may happen. It really is important to appreciate who you have around you and who is important to you. It's always better to do something rather than wish you did it. From parents, siblings, nephews/nieces, Uncles/Aunties, grandparents, cousins and friends, I am so lucky to have so many people I feel are important to me.

Jess, we've come a long way together. It won't be long now until we are making our vows. I cannot wait for my family to come over from England and see what Australian life is like, even if only for a short time. I cannot wait to be the best husband to you, and the best father possible if and when we have children. You are largely responsible for all the positive aspects of my life today and I will do everything in my power to ensure your happiness with me.

For Blogging's Sake

Post 31 of my blog has been a long time coming, probably my longest between blogs so far. Much has happened in this time, yet part of the reason behind the gap is a phenomenon known as "Writer's Block". It's not that there has been nothing to write about, it's not that I didn't want to write something... I just didn't think I could write anything of particular interest.

Initially I started the blog as a way of letting off steam, a cathartic release from the stresses and struggles of everyday life in England. But I have to say that I haven't often felt the need to release any stress since moving to Australia. There have been stresses, don't worry about that! But there are only so many times I can write about how great it is to live in this country before it gets repetitive. In fact for many of you that read my blogs I would wager it is already. And thus, the Writer's Block strikes. What is there for me to say?

It's normal to carry an
alligator around on Sundays.

I could write about the end of our cricket season, but outside of my cricket circle who would be interested? In fact, even inside of the cricket circle, who would be interested? Many a match report have made their way to the MUCC website via this keyboard already, why blog about it? Perhaps the Ashes pain is still too raw!

What about the Reptile Park? I've only mentioned snakes, alligators, crocs, etc a thousand times already. I've already filled my Facebook profile with pictures, references and many a post about how great the Reptile Park is and the people are. I suppose one related thing of note is that my previous blog entry about a course I did last year in handling venomous snakes has been used by the man who runs the courses on his own website. Indeed if you visit www.jmvenomoussnakes.com.au you will be greeted by one picture of my headless body about to remove a snake from a bag, and another of my face alongside John Mostyn as he talks me through restraining a snake.

The view from Sydney Tower...
Not bad, is it?

How about planespotting? Well, back in April I was lucky enough to have an airside tour of Sydney Airport and got up close and personal with the airport tarmac, fired the water cannon from an Airport Fire Engine and won a tour of the control tower. A fantastic day for me and a few friends, and new friends were also made. But I'm not sure I could have written a whole blog about it. And I did try to.

And what of work? The new job started in January and required (and still requires) a quick adaptation, steep learning curve and a lot of concentration. I had my yearly appraisal this week and came out of it pleasantly surprised and encouraged by what my boss had to say. The company I work for is a family business with a big emphasis on leaving work at work and switching off when you get home, and with that in mind I don't feel the need to blog about it.

So what does all this mean? It means I have a regular life and a routine. Everything I do now has become normal and means I'd be writing the same thing all the time. Things you already know about me, like cricket, Formula 1, reptiles, photography, aviation... What can I tell you that is new and exciting to you? All of it is fantastic from my point of view and don't get me wrong, the excitement of parts of what I do haven't died down. In the last few weeks I have been trained on handling Tegu's (an Argentinian lizard) and begun training on a Green Anaconda, which grows to be the world's largest snake.  There's a great example of Writer's Block because of all the things I could have chosen to tell you about, once again it circled around to the Reptile Park and animals.

Normality includes Burmese Pythons.

I guess this post is more a blog just for the sake of it. We went to Victoria for Easter and had a great time with family and adopted family down there. Other than that, we haven't been away... That was our first trip since Hervey Bay last year. But the need for me to write just isn't there anymore in the way it used to be and I don't want this blog to become predictable. Perhaps the creativity and inspiration that has helped me write my better posts will come to me again soon. What I can say, though, is that what I deem to be a normal life in Australia has far exceeded anything I ever thought before I left Devon and that I cannot wait for the rest of my family to see this place that I am now proud to call home.

Ashes Pain All Over Again

Stuart Broad beats Brad Haddin's bat.
A rare English plus.

Take nothing away from the Australian cricket team, they deserve their Ashes victory. England have been extremely poor and there isn't much for an England cricket fan that could be more painful. Until now my most
painful England cricket memory was losing the Ashes 5-0 in 2006/07 made worse by the fact I was there at 3 of the games and experienced it in person. This year it is rapidly overtaking it and losing 5-0 again is almost a certainty, meaning that I would be here in Australia for 10 losses out of 10. Coming so quickly after a 3-0 Ashes victory in England where there was talk of England winning 5-0, it makes it even more painful.

Generally I think I am a respectful and fair person when losing. As biased as I may be with my desire for England or Tottenham Hotspur or Macquarie University CC to win sporting events I think that my assessment of events is a fair one. In this instance, England have been out-skilled. Even in victory I like to think I am fair. It is natural to enjoy your team/country winning more than losing, and of course any England Ashes victory makes me very happy. But I won't gloat about it, mainly out of respect but more and more out of realisation that the teams I support have an extremely good record of screwing things up in a short amount of time. Also because gloating is poor form, and the only thing worse than a bad loser is a very poor winner. What goes around, comes around.

The beautiful Sydney Cricket Ground
from the new Member's Stand

Everyone can give their opinion of why England have been so poor, everyone has let me know it too, being the only Englishman at an Australian cricket club. Australia have been good but the press and fans are making them out to be absolute World-beaters and some have even said they are the best Australian team ever. I don't think so by a long shot, one good (ok, great) series doesn't allow that title. Let us not forget that Peter Siddle, Ryan Harris, Michael Clarke, Mitchell Johnson, Nathan Lyon and Shane Watson have all been part of what can at best be described as a mediocre Australian cricket team over the last 3 or 4 years. Johnson's struggles in the 2009 Ashes in England and the reverse in Australia in 2010-11 are well documented, Siddle and Watson both played in those series and Ryan Harris played some of 2010-11 and the 2013 series in England. Johnson played well in 2 Ashes tests out of 10 until this series, he was Australia's Steve Harmison. The team I witnessed beat England 5-0 in 2006-07 would be more deserving of the title of Best Australian Team Ever with the likes of Shane Warne, Glenn McGrath, Justin Langer, Matthew Hayden, Ricky Ponting, Adam Gilchrist and Brett Lee who all had long careers of high success. But do either of these teams deserve to outrank Don Bradman's "Invincibles"? To me the current Australian side have been like McDonalds serving up 5-star quality steaks with Champagne and Caviar, and punching above their weight against a very poor and off-colour England team.

Going into this series there were question marks over just about every Australian player. Would Mitchell Johnson succumb to nerves again? Is Steve Smith really a number 5, and how the hell does he score runs? Can Dave Warner hold his place? Chris Rogers, really? George Bailey a Test player? Can Shane Watson bowl, or go on after making a start? Can Ryan Harris play more than 3 Tests? They have emphatically answered all questions and gelled to an extent that Australia have played the same 11 in all 5 games. The last time England came close to that was in 2005, and it was only because of an injury to Simon Jones that Paul Collingwood played at The Oval. As Shane Warne pointed out, he got an MBE for scoring 7 and 10 in that match...

Consistancy is a key element to a winning side, as is showing positive intent. England had that for the last 3 or 4 years and that was why they rose to Number 1 in the world with a nucleus of Andrew Strauss, Alastair Cook, Ian Bell, Johnathon Trott, Graeme Swann, James Anderson, Stuart Broad and Kevin Pietersen. Strauss retired last year and Trott is suffering from a stress-related illness which I can certainly sympathise with, as you will know if you have read my previous blogs, and what the hell REALLY happened with Swann will be revealed in time I am sure. But with an experienced Cook, Bell and Pietersen in the order, England have succumbed and surrendered easier than a French army and that is frustrating.

The moment Australia won 5-0
in 2006/07

It is inevitable that this series is going to end 5-0 to Australia. As I write this off the back of being at the SCG for Days 1 and 2, England are 300 behind with 6 wickets still to get having only made 155 first time around. After Perth I said 5-0, I now wish I'd not joked about putting $50 on it and just done it. In 2006-07, it was painful enough but a fitting score to a side full of all-time greats like Warne, McGrath, Ponting, Gilchrist, Hayden, Lee, Mike Hussey and even Damien Martyn, Michael Clarke and Stuart Clark in there. Michael Clarke survives and leads Australia now, but with the greatest respect I don't think any of the current players will go down in history as all-time greats in the way the Class of 2006-07 will and in many ways that makes this 5-0 even more painful. England winning 3-0 seems a long long time ago.

Yet I still feel that Australia are beatable, and certainly England's focus will be and bringing that little urn back to where it belongs in 2015. Who will still be playing for Australia in 2015? Can Johnson really back up this outstanding series in the face of an English home crowd on slower English pitches? Will Brad Haddin have retired or will he want one last crack at winning the Ashes in England? Will Chris Rogers have retired? Will Ryan Harris's knee have given way? What of Siddle and Watson?

A painful sight for England fans

England have to find answers and quickly. Hopefully the debutants this series will have not been too scarred by the experience and over the next 18 months can build their confidence up again. Even back at The Oval we debuted Simon Kerrigan and some are saying that will be his first and last test match. Ben Stokes looks like a find and his battling century at the WACA could be the start of something special, and his 6 wickets at the SCG shouldn't be forgotten. Alastair Cook made a ton at the WACA in 2006-07 and next time he came to Australia he scored over 700 runs in the 5 matches so there is a precedent, and a faint glimmer for England. Scott Borthwick needs time as leg-spin is an art not easily mastered, Gary Ballance needs time in the middle and Boyd Rankin has the height and pace that England need to utilise and bring on in the right way, not using the short ball too often.

At the start of the series I predicted 3-1 to England. This is the first series prediction (including score) I have got wrong since 2005 when I predicted 2-2 and England won what is seen by many as the Greatest Ever series of Test cricket 2-1. In 06-07 it was obvious from before the start that Australia would win, but even during that series I said England would win in 2009 and they did. In 2010-11 it was obvious that England were in the ascendancy and would win and in 2013 there was nothing in Australia's side to worry England as Mickey Arthur had made them into a laughing stock. In came Darren Lehmann and suddenly the Australian attitude changed and that old Australian doggedness returned, they had fire and fight about them again and suddenly it feels like Ashes battles of the 1990's all over again, where aggressive Australians leave defenceless "Poms" nothing to cling to.

If England do have anything to cling to, it will be that Australia have not won an Ashes series in England since 2001. Although I have been wrong about the outcome of this series I still have a feeling that 2015 will be England's series and that is largely because of what I said earlier about this Australian side not being a "great" side. They may well become one, they travel to South Africa next and host India next summer before heading to England and if they play the same brand of cricket over that year then they stand every chance of winning the Ashes in England and becoming the World Number 1 side. England have to stop the rot, in 2011 we were the number 1 side and lost that to South Africa in 2012. As the end of the series rapidly approaches England will have a 6 month break from Test cricket before they host Sri Lanka in June and India later in the summer. And boy, don't they need it.

2006-07... History to repeat itself
in 2013/14.