The Simple Joy Of Doing What You Love

It sounds so easy, doesn't it; "Do what makes you happy" But somewhere in the chain you get overtaken by the need to pay bills or to do something else. Flying, being a pilot, being around aircraft is something I have wanted to do since I was 11 years old. I was fortunate to work at a flying school at Exeter (and sometimes Plymouth) for 4 years, having done a week of work experience in the same building for the school that was there before. So landing a job aged 18 in seemingly the perfect environment to achieve the goal of becoming a pilot, why didn't it happen for the kid who'd only ever imagined that one vocation?

I can't put my finger on a single reason. Coming to Australia twice for cricket? Too much focus on cricket? Too much focus on other things? Honestly there can't be a single answer but my last flight in the UK towards my pilot's licence was in May 2008. I didn't take another training flight until May 2019. A lot happened in between, the single biggest trauma in my life began to unfold in November 2008 and took its toll well into 2009 and beyond. To this day it still causes me pain, but it's dealt with. Saving for a visa and permanent move to Australia in 2013 followed, and settling in while saving for a wedding, saving for a home, working in an industry I didn't like at all for a while before getting a job in cricket and still not relinquishing an amateur cricket career ultimately kept me from flying, as well as multiple family bereavements. But it is not like the thoughts of flying had left me, especially given the influence my late Grandfather had on that particular goal.

Photo: Copyright Lee Gatland Photography

Upon taking that first lesson from Bankstown in May, the immediate feeling when we shut down the engine in the Piper Archer was a simple rhetorical question; "Why the hell had I waited so long to do that?!" Forget cricket, which has given me many opportunities and introduced me to many people including heroes of mine, I had found my mojo again. Flying makes me truly happy. Note, please don't take that as me saying nothing else does... Of course my family, especially my ever-understanding wife do too! In terms of an activity, flying is really it for me. I'm not spiritual, but I cannot describe the feeling inside of me when I'm at the controls of an aircraft. It's a destiny for me, it's my peak, my zen, my happy place. "Above us, only sky".

The truth is that if you want something bad enough then you will do what you need to do to make it happen. From late 2009 into 2010 was when I first really envisaged leaving the UK on a permanent basis after having met Jess. That was my focus, that was my goal. I wanted it badly enough and I got it. Did I ever really want to be a professional cricketer badly enough...? Well, in theory yes I did. In practicality I never did the hard yards in order to get there. With flying, I rather too easily said it was too expensive and put it to bed, resigning myself to thinking it would never happen.

Photo: Copyright Lee Gatland Photography

I set up a crowdfunding campaign to get me back in the air and raised approximately $1,000. That campaign came to a screeching halt with my Grandparents in the UK falling ill, and taking a trip to say my final goodbyes to them, a couple of changes of job coupled with buying our first home. Then a car accident and the subsequent physio and recovery...! Now I'm in a place where I can do it and I've simply got to.

At the time of writing I have taken two flights, and I've started a video diary. What would be a great help for me is if you could like, share and subscribe to my YouTube channel, Facebook pages and help me to achieve my dream. Here is my video diary: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL5f8SNPsAuOADaADwPuI1mRV4JbFAxGpM

I finally restarted that campaign and began using the funds for what they were given to me for. And now the fire is lit. Flying has to be my focus now, I have retired from playing cricket. Flying will cost me more but last me longer. If I have to wash cars, or sell photographs, or work extra shifts at the Reptile Park to fund it then that's what I'll do, but I have that fire again.

Aviation is my biggest passion, including photography of
planes such as this JetStar 787 departing Gold Coast airport

When I look at my time as a Sales Rep in the packaging industry, the words of Jim Carrey come to mind. Talking about how his father took a "safe" job as an accountant rather than chase his dream, and how he was let go from that job, Jim Carrey said "You can fail at what you don't want, so you might as well take a chance on doing what you love." Don't get me wrong, I have loved working in the cricket world for Kingsgrove Sports! But I'm now 33 years old and flying has to be for me now. It is with that in mind that I am so happy to announce that I have got a new job at Bankstown aerodrome in a capacity that will be much in line with what I used to do at Aviation South West in Exeter all those years ago.

I would like to take this chance to publicly express my gratitude to Harry and Rohini Solomons, as well as Dave Solomons and all at Kingsgrove Sports for allowing me to work in the cricket industry, in a sport I have been so passionate about for my whole life. Also for being so understanding that my biggest passion is aviation and getting back into the flying environment is perhaps something I have been destined for, I am truly sad and excited at the same time.

So from here on in the Flying For Fred campaign will be more of a video diary than the crowdfunding it was set up to be. There never was any obligation for you to donate, but those who did I remain grateful to. Of course you still have the option to donate if you wish to, then if you're game, I'll take you flying with me so you can share my passion. THAT'S what its all about in the end.

Laser Eye Surgery - I See Your Point

Crap puns to start this article? I don't see why not. I recently had laser eye surgery, and have had many people ask me about it and what it involves, how the recovery is going and many other questions so I thought I would put it into writing (not braille) for you here so that you don't go into it blind. OK, that's enough. Get on with it.

The morning after my surgery under
the effects of lots of medication.

Back in the days when I used to play cricket and take it somewhat seriously I decided to have a
season abroad in Australia to make myself a better player. When I got back to England the improvement was there for the first half of the season, and then I went on the sort of streak that makes me wonder how I didn't give the game up then and there; SEVEN ducks in a row, three of which were Golden (For those of you who don't know about cricket, a duck is when you are out without scoring, a golden duck is when you are out from the first delivery you face). It was about this time I thought I should get my eyes tested.

Sure enough, I needed corrective measures. I have never ever wanted to wear glasses so I went for contact lenses, and after a few failed attempts at inserting them resulted in bloodshot eyes I finally got the hang of it. I went for the ones that last up to a month and only took them out to sleep. I even got a cheer from the players balcony at Bovey Tracey Cricket Club when I finally got off the mark again. After a few years of this carry-on I suffered something called Episcleritis, which is basically when the eyes don't get enough oxygen and go red (see photos). It was recommended that I get glasses, and when using contact lenses I should only use the single-use daily ones. In 2011, I got glasses and used contact lenses for playing sport and social events.

I hated my glasses, so much so that I took them off for photos and vowed to get my eyes lasered one day. A cousin of mine had his done and he said it was one of the best things he ever did, and for approx £300 per eye it sounded like a great idea! Beats paying £150 every few years for glasses. I went for the referral and in typical style I was told my eyes needed a "special procedure that costs £1,000 per eye". Thank you for your time, see you never.

Episcleritis in my right eye at the end of the 2012 season.
This was September, by late October it still hadn't cleared.
(Pictured with Pete Bradley (L) and Chris Bradley (R))

And so the dream of laser eye surgery died a little death, not to be resurrected for a few more years. I went to a place in Parramatta in 2015 for a consultation, LASIK surgery for $3,000 per eye. Thanks but no thanks, I'll keep saving. Fast forward to the start of this year and once again I decided to go for a consultation, this time after a bit more in-depth research I found Sydney Eye Clinic. I booked myself in for an assessment at the Baulkham Hills office, and learnt of a new procedure called Advanced Surface Laser.

The difference is that with LASIK, they make an incision around your iris and open it like a flap, laser in behind it and close the flap again. That incision will never fully heal and there is a (very small) risk of infection. With Advanced Surface Laser they simply reshape the surface of the eye to ensure the light hits the inside of the eye in the correct way, therefore giving you perfect vision. No incisions, reduced risk of infection and crucially a lot more cost effective at $1,200 per eye which would come down further because of the Health Fund I chose. Naturally I made an appointment on the spot although I would have to wait a month to get in, and travel to Darlinghurst for the op.

Despite being told I would need a carer on the day, I completely underestimated the reliance I would have on my wife to undertake this role. I thought it would be a case of have the surgery, be driven home and after a rest day all would be normal. Not. A. Chance. Don't get me wrong, whilst the recovery was not easy it was an absolutely miniscule price to pay for the results, and I'll get to that, but if you do opt to go for this procedure be prepared. They give you a week off for a reason.

Sydney Eye Clinic say that in order to minimise the time off work you need they do the procedures on a Friday so you have the weekend to recover, and will sign you off from the Friday until usually the Wednesday or Thursday. In my case, they signed me off until the Friday meaning I had 6 days off "sick". You can't wear your contact lenses for two weeks before the procedure because it affects the surface of your eye and it needs time to settle.

October 2012 in Australia. Episcleritis in right eye still apparent.

Upon arrival on the day of the appointment I was introduced to Dr Ilan Sebban and immediately I was reassured. I cannot fault the man, he was polite, courteous, understanding, funny and relaxed me before an operation I was nervous about. It could have been the Xanax tablet kicking in to be fair, but when I later met him again without the effect of medication I thought the same, so there's that. You get sent downstairs to the pharmacy to pick up your medication. I honestly thought it would be a few eye-drops, and didn't expect the bagful they gave me. Valium (diazepam), Dozile sleeping tablets, prescribed painkillers and a script for Endone if the pain becomes unbearable and various eye-drops to be used at different times? You feel like you need a degree in chemistry to understand it and at this point I was mentally preparing for the operation so I switched off and let Jess take the instructions. I'm glad she did.

After a few final tests, calibrations and anaesthetic eye-drops I was led into the theatre to be greeted by more friendly staff, a bed and a great big piece of apparatus which was obviously the frickin' laser. You know those things that dentists use to keep your mouth open? Imagine those made of metal and for your eyes... Blinking would be a bad thing, so these prevent it. Sod matchsticks.

While laying down on the bed they move the apparatus in place, and impress on you how important it is for the following 30 seconds to look at the green dot, the whole green dot and nothing but the green dot, so help you God. Obviously you do it, ignoring the smell of welding or burning that is in the air. You breathe a sigh of relief as they rinse the eye with a solution, and then it's onto the next eye. The green dot! Don't forget the green dot! Same again, same burning smell, same rinsing and then voila! It's done! You feel nothing while the procedure is being done. No pain, maybe a mild pressure, but nothing. However when it is done, your eyes begin to sting more and more. You're becoming light sensitive. You are so focussed on this new sensation that anything they are telling you wouldn't register, and this is why your carer is so important. They listen to the instructions for you.

This was about the time it became clear it was a bigger deal that I gave it credit for. Jess had to guide me to the car, I couldn't keep my eyes open because it hurt. I got in the car and she drove home while I was there with a baseball cap over my face to try and ease the light sensitivity issue. It was a good 30-40 minute drive home but it felt like double. As soon as we got home I got into bed and was given the valium, probably some pain medication and thankfully fell asleep. Other than toilet breaks and some food I don't think I moved from that spot for at least 24 hours. The pain eased off, and the vision was blurry but the best thing for me to do was sleep.

Jess deserves enormous credit for keeping me to the schedule of medication and eye-drops all weekend, by Monday I was able to look after myself my vision was blurry still, and that lasted until well after I went back to work with gradual improvements. Podcasts and the radio are your friend in those first few days to combat boredom, television isn't the best idea for too long as it dries your eyes.

After two or three weeks there was still some blurriness, to the point that I was a little scared driving into work for a week or so because I couldn't read number plates except for the car immediately in front of me in traffic. However as each day progressed I felt more and more comfortable and things kept improving. When I went for my follow-up appointment after a couple of weeks Dr Sebban asked which line I could read on the usual screens they give you for eye-tests and I could read the bottom line, which surprised him! At this stage I was a little apprehensive that it hadn't worked as well as I hoped but he assured me the skin across the eye takes approximately 7-8 weeks to fully heal, so although your vision should be good enough after a week or so (and it was) it takes a little longer to become perfect. As I write this it has been 6 weeks since my operation and my vision is way better now than it was when I had contact lenses on, almost as perfect as when I had glasses.

I only have eye drops to last a couple more weeks and after that it is done. I couldn't be happier with the results even if they stay as they are now, and the fact they may improve further over the next couple of weeks is a bonus. In conclusion, it is definitely worth doing. If you have the right health fund you could save yourself even more, but if I remove that from the calculations and with the knowledge that this should last at least 10-15 years then I have already saved money if you compare that with the cost (and hassle) of glasses and contact lenses over that same period.

I'll happily answer any questions you might have, however if you seriously want to get it done book yourself an appointment with Sydney Eye Clinic and see Dr Sebban yourself. I am yet to speak to any person who has had their eyes lasered and said anything bad about it, everyone has said they are so glad they got it done. I'm the same and now I can vouch for it with my experiences. I started with a crap pun so now I'll end with one; You'll see what I mean.

After 22 Years, Cricket And I Need A Break

I don't remember a time when I wasn't aware of cricket, when the game didn't have some kind of spell over me. I remember English summers in a small Oxfordshire village watching the local team play and wishing I was allowed to, but also being afraid of a "real" leather cricket ball. A home-made block of wood that my father drilled stump holes into would be used on the street with a tennis ball and whosoever happened to be around and wanted to play would dictate my cricket until we moved to Devon, where I took up the real sport.

Unbelievable to be bowling in the nets with Shane Warne
just before the World Cup Semi Final in 2015 at the SCG.

There is absolutely no doubt that the game of cricket has given me the life I have today. I have been fortunate to play with and against some excellent cricketers, international cricketers and to train with international teams alongside people I'd only ever seen on TV. I have so many happy memories of cricket that it's almost unfathomable that I feel quite like I do about the game right now, in that I am ready to walk away from playing. Whether or not that is permanent remains to be seen, but as of now I feel like I've done my dash. Retirement sounds better than a sabbatical.

Ice and a cuppa. No recovery
needed next summer.

Black Eye. Wear A Helmet.

The first game of 2019 was the moment that secured it for me, but the warning signs have been building. I had long said that the 2018/19 season would be my last full season of playing, after that I would look at umpiring or scoring and only playing occasionally. Back in August during pre-season training, I hit a cricket ball into my own face and gave myself a black-eye... a freak occurrence as a result of a leading edge, but enough to make me doubt my ability to see the ball as a batsman. Yet the moment that confirmed it for me came about 45 minutes into the first game back after Christmas. While bowling.

I've never claimed to be the quickest bowler out there, I've definitely never claimed to be the best. Perhaps that's part of the reason I never excelled, because fast bowlers are supposed to be brash, full of confidence and ready to Alpha anyone that crosses their path. Not my style, even when I was young and brash the confidence and alpha-ing was faked. Some would argue that few fast bowlers are any different.

Too much weight, too much strain, no longer a bowler.

Jogging in to bowl with at least 3 different niggles across my two legs and letting go of a delivery in my second over with full effort only to see the batsman have time to change his mind three times over what shot to play and still finding the middle with a secure defensive stroke sapped my energy just as much as the 34°C heat and ridiculous humidity. The first ball I bowled was the best; chopping the batsman in half and missing the stumps by a bees-dick. I jokingly said "I won't bowl another one like that!" Perhaps it was the negative mindset (No, Jon Mears!)? Perhaps it was the overweight 32-year-old frame that couldn't hack it anymore...? But I didn't bowl another one like that. And that's when it hit me (yep, in the middle of an over in the middle of the field) that I've been playing this game for 22 years without a voluntary break, it's time to take one. Not necessarily permanent, but time off at least.

Hitting Jamie Overton through
the covers, Instow, North Devon, 2011.
Back when I wore a helmet...!

I'd always envisaged myself playing year in, year out until I was almost retired. Granted, I was never going to continue as a pace bowler forever, I've always wanted to bowl leg-spin and perhaps if there is a phase two that may happen?! Since moving to Australia permanently in 2013, cricket at Macquarie Uni CC has almost been central to my universe. Recently though, I have been somewhat philosophically wondering just how many family moments I've missed out on by playing the game? How many times has my long-suffering wife had to spend weekends on her own, or how many birthdays have I left early or not made it to because of cricket? How many times have I missed out on taking our nephew and niece to the park or the beach with the whole family for a picnic? Ultimately, family has to come first and giving my wife the honeymoon she deserves at a time when the next cricket season will be starting is a choice that realistically it shouldn't have taken over 4 years to make.

Without doubt my favourite team, Captaining Under 24's
to the Grand Final for (so far) the only time in MUCC's history.
Unfortunately we fell at the final hurdle to Strathfield.

Not only that, but the 2018/19 season is the first season I haven't had any responsibility at the club. I was on the committee almost from the moment I landed here in 2013, took on the 2nd Grade Captaincy, then the Vice-President role, then 1st Grade Captaincy. At any club that would take its toll, but dealing with the bureaucracy that Macquarie University throws in our direction annually, feigning interest in seeing cricket grow while systematically removing facilities and increasing thresholds for the club is on another level altogether. And working that hard for a club only to have the opposition comments on a weekly basis about how "this is where cricket comes to die!" or "when are you blokes going to get some proper f**king changing rooms?!" leaves one feeling less than enthusiastic. Make no mistake, the love I have for Macquarie University Cricket Club is without question. What is frustrating is that there are only a few of us that maintain that level of love and loyalty to the club. The sad thing is that with just a little investment, the university could have the best facilities in the whole of Sydney. Not just Shires Cricket, the whole city. 

Club politics are present wherever you go to play your cricket, whichever club you choose. There are things that are fair, and things that are a downright shambles. When you get criticised despite the effort you put in? When you have your integrity questioned by people who don't give a damn about the club? When you get accused of racism? Accused of only picking "white boys", yet the team-sheets suggest differently? When you hear of this so-called smear campaign by someone rejoining the club who had been told that about you, and that is why he left the club in the first place? That hurts. Why continue to give up your summers for a game you love if character assassination is a possible and probable consequence? (Edit: Probable is more accurate)

Maybe not Concorde anymore, but the desire to get
back in the air is strong.

Back when I worked at the Flying School, my boss and very good friend James Pyne and I had gone for a pint with our colleague and good friend Chris Gilbert at my local pub. James was a fully fledged Flying Instructor at that point, just 20 years old. Within a year he had become one of Europe's youngest (if not the record holder) private jet Captains. My two loves were cricket and flying, his was flying. Sole focus. He was not only one of my best mates but my instructor too. And he told me how he used to represent the county at Rugby, but ultimately chose to focus on his flying.

They both knew I badly wanted to be a pilot, so James asked me: "What would you rather be, a professional pilot or a professional cricketer?" and I remember the look on his face when I said "cricketer". I'm not sure if he was disappointed because I hadn't chosen flying and he knew I'd make a good pilot, or because I'd picked cricket despite realistically not having the talent to make it past club cricket. Incidentally, Chris also chose to concentrate on his flying and after a few years of hardship is now flying big jets for British Airways. They both had a focus on one thing, one ultimate goal, and they got it. I had too many goals. It wasn't possible for me to become a professional cricketer, professional pilot, zookeeper and TV presenter. The lesson is that clearly I never wanted one of them badly enough to make it my sole focus. Perhaps it is time to pick flying over cricket.

Either way, it's still a "what-if" moment, had I chosen to concentrate on finishing my pilots licence I could have been writing a different blog post from the crew rest area in an Airbus A380. As it is, I find myself thinking about the time I knocked an international player's off-stump out of the ground (Dave Warner, in case I haven't mentioned it) in a meaningless net-session and convincing myself I made the right decision because of everything else I've done in my life as a result of cricket.

Training with the England team
at the SCG in 2018, here with
Captain Eoin Morgan

That wonderful sport that took me across the world, introduced me to my wife, gave me an identity, gave me opportunities, gave me friends, gave me a new way of seeing the world. They say travel broadens the mind, I definitely found myself as a result of travelling for cricket. 22 years is a long time. In fact, I was only 20 years old when I first travelled for cricket. Cricket owes me nothing, I owe cricket everything, which makes the decision to walk away from it a little bit more difficult.

It's not just the playing of the game, you want to be competitive, you want to win. I haven't been part of a team that wins regularly since I left Bovey Tracey in 2012, and I would give anything to play another "last season" for Bovey. Let's face it, they aren't going to fly me over and look after me to rediscover the love of the game (Edit: I mean, they can if they want! I'd happily play either 1st or 2nd XI to fit if necessary!). The atmosphere, the facilities, some of the people, I miss playing for Bovey. It's difficult to realise your body is giving up on you, it's always been an upward curve from age 10 to age 32, but the plateau is nearing and the recovery times are doubling. Physically, and mentally. As much as my body is breaking down, I think it's fair to say my mind is too. It was hard enough bowling that weekend and as mentioned I came to the decision then, which was cemented later in the afternoon when I walked out to bat at 3 and was walking back not long after with my first duck in 3 seasons.

The following week I bowled like someone who had never heard of cricket, and I knew for sure my time was up. Yet, cricket has a funny way of drawing me back in. Round 10 comes along and on a stinking hot 42°C day in Rouse Hill, after fielding for nearly 50 overs I came out to bat and hit an unbeaten 100 off 78 balls. Has it done enough to keep me in for next year...? Probably not, but it has at least brought back some confidence and love for the game that was conspicuous in its absence in the first few weeks of 2019. The fairytale finish of winning a Premiership was never going to happen this year. So unless Bovey come calling, it's "Over and time, gentlemen."

My final six... Gareth Newman sent this picture to me, of me hitting him for six
in our loss to Warringah in the final game of 2019 for MUCC. Cheers, mate!
Photo Credit: Rick Archer