I Saw The Sign!

Spending days and days on the British roads leaves plenty of time for contemplation, and plenty of time to notice things you might not have noticed before on routes you have driven several times before. I have no idea how many miles I've clocked up this week, but including when Jess flew home I've driven to North Oxfordshire, Buckinghamshire, Heathrow and back to Devon down the A303, Looe in Cornwall for the first time ever; Okehampton, Tavistock, Holsworthy, North Bovey; Exmouth, Cullompton; Taunton, Bridgwater, Pawlett; Bideford, Instow, and Torrington. This week I'll be in Liskeard, Holsworthy, Totnes, Paignton, Bridport, Ilminster, Chard, Taunton, Bridgwater and Burnham-On-Sea. I wonder what I'll see this week!

"The Gook"

So I did a few miles last week and along the way I learnt some new and perhaps some slightly questionable names of places and pubs. How do places get their names?! Some are simple, some are just astonishing. I have seen a few signs and bumper stickers that I have found amusing, usually in Australia, but here in the Westcountry it's just as prominent!

Bordering on racism, the first to catch my eye was a 15th Century pub called the "Finnygook Inn" in Crafthole, on the approach to Torpoint, affectionately known as "The Gook". For those of you that are unaware the word "gook" is a highly derogatory term for East Asians, a phrase originating from American soldiers in the Korean and Vietnamese Wars. I'm still yet to find an answer how that is linked with a small pub in Cornwall.

Surely not racism...?

In West Devon, I drove past a street called "Darkey Lane". As with the "Gook", I am sure there are no racial links with this name but these days people would be offended by a fart if it sounded bad enough so I'm surprised that these signs survive given the level of censorship in this country. Although I'm completely 100% not a racist, I must admit the signs made me giggle slightly if only for the fact that they were there. These signs aren't particularly humorous, but still I laughed...

I didn't think it was THAT bad

Across the UK there are several names that raise a smirk; Crapstone and Cockwood in Devon, Shitterton in Dorset, Bell End in Birmingham, Fingringhoe in Essex and of course the Shetland's and Orkney's each have a Twatt. These names were obviously in place long before the meanings that make the juvenile inside us smirk, but that itself begs the question of how they came to mean what they do in modern culture. In Devon Cricket, when a fielder uses his foot to stop a ball that he could have used his hands to stop, it is seen as "village" (of a low standard) and the call goes out, a local village... "CHAGFORD!"

Mind your head!

Some signs that I have seen over the years have appeared to be downright stupid. In Central London there are 50 or 60ft high trees that have signs attached warning "Low Trees". On the M5 I have passed several gantries that say "Sign Not In Use". How many documents have we seen that have a page that was left "Intentionally Blank" save for the text notifying us of that falsity?

It is ingrained in the British humour and psyche and I guess that is how words and phrases come to exist. Cockney rhyming slang being a prime example.

"I went up the apples 'n pears to see the trouble 'n strife because I owed her an Ayrton Senna. Then she told me how her China Plate saved her Vera Lynn last week and I thought she was havin' a giraffe..."

Translation: Apples 'n Pears = Stairs. Trouble 'n Strife = Wife. Ayrton Senna = Tenner = £10. China Plate = Mate. Vera Lynn = Skin. Giraffe = Laugh.

There are literally thousands of examples of cockney rhyming slang, and even more examples of local dialects in the UK. In Devon we curse Grockles but rely on them heavily to boost our local economy, to the rest of the country they are known as "tourists". If you're not from Devon or Cornwall you're seen as a "Northerner!" Brummies are from Birmingham, Geordies are from Newcastle, Scousers are from Liverpool, Mancs are from Manchester, Cockneys are from London, Scottish people are Jocks, Welsh people are Taffs, Irish people are Paddys. What do Devonians get tarred with? "Oh, you sound like a farmer!" Brilliant(!) Did your Northern humour come up with that on it's own? Or did you see a tractor once and thought everyone in Devon has a farm? Don't go out on the moors...

Ooh arr...

Even foreigners can't escape the nicknames, some are offensive, some are not. The French are frogs, Germans are krauts, American's are Septics (another cockney rhyming slang... Septic Tank = Yank), Australian's are Convicts (almost as original as Devonians being farmers), New Zealanders are Kiwi's, and it's not just one way. To the Australians, South Africans and New Zealanders, we are "Poms", to the Yanks we are "Limey's", the Germans call us "Inselaffen" which translates to mean "Island Apes". Interesting... And of course, to the French we are "le Roast Beefs". Well, I guess there are worse things we could eat... Frogs, for example.